My Forecast for 2015 by Goal Setting the Smart Way

smart goal setting conceptOne reason why people don’t like to set New Years Resolutions is because they don’t achieve them. I was this way once as well and I’ve learned it’s because I make them too broad, immeasurable, make them pipe dreams that just can’t be achieved, not really important to my life, and with no due date other than “by the end of the year.” These are just recipes for disaster. So I’m doing it the smart way this year.

Unfortunately, it is day 1 and I’m bitterly behind my first goal so will have to modify it. I set to launch my children’s book How To Love Like Jesus: A Guide for Children and Their Parents today. I was going to market it today with a great pitch toward parents whose goals this year are to teach their children to be more godly this year. And right when I attempted to add the back cover description onto the Amazon Kindle Description, I noticed a glaring typo. An entire verb missing from the very first sentence on the back cover. This is a mistake I can’t just look over. If the first sentence on a back cover has a typo, who on Earth would even attempt to read on? Not me, that’s for sure! So I just emailed the book designer, asked them to fix it ASAP and offered to pay whatever cost necessary. I just hope and pray they get it  back to me in the next day or so. So disappointing. I don’t know how I missed it during all of the draft checks.

But I’m not going to let this stop me from forecasting my goals for this year. I’m trying to hit a few different areas: professional, spiritual, family, and personal. I know many people don’t like to set New Year’s Resolutions, and that is fine for them. But as for me, I find the new year inspiring and no better time than to make goals. And thankfully, I just learned of this application called MindBloom which I plan on downloading as well. Also–Coach.Me is supposed to be good. Will play around with both and see which one works for me. Supposedly with MindBloom you can type in your goals, get alerts that ask you how you are doing with them, and also add inspirational photos and music that plays for you as you work on your goals.

So here they are, and feel free to hold me accountable by asking me throughout the year how I’m doing with them.

Professional Goal(s): 

1. Get my Resume Website Launched by Summer.

2. Get my Children’s Book launched on Amazon as soon as I get the revised draft from the book designer (hopefully this week!) and then begin marketing it on Youtube, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, and my blog.

3. Get the 1st draft of my Marriage/Love app completed by Valentines Day. My good friend and blogger Nikki Marie at http://TheMomIWantToBe.com and I are excitedly drafting this. We cant wait to find an app programmer and get this launched on iphones and androids all across America. More on this later. Don’t want to reveal too much too soon. 😉

Spiritual Goals:

1. Pray on the way to Work Again, Listen to Worship music, and Listen to my Audio Bible (I got out of the habit of doing this the entire way to work. Started doing it just the last 10 minutes of my drive and not having enough time to do all three. I think all three are important and want my entire 45 minutes to work to be focused on worshiping and drawing close to my Lord and Savior.

2. To be a light more in other areas of my life, not just ministering to my kids. I talked about this a few blogs ago. I’m extremely busy, especially when working. So my light will most likely be limited to just encouraging texts and messages to my friends and family. But I also want to make a few meals this year for people, donating clothes, and above all else, be better at praying for people other than me and immediate family. There’s another great App out there that will help me remember to diligently pray for others more. Its called Prayer Notes. You can list people and groups, what to pray for them, and even get reminders.

Family Goals:

1. To be more consistent in disciplining my children and coupling it with giving them the gospel message when they show defiance or rebellion.

2. To be consistent in reading with my children and fostering a love of books. 

3. To watch less television with Owen and the kids. Owen and I are canceling our Netflix and Hulu Plus in order to ensure we replace that time with more reading, games, music, and talking for family and couple activities and downtime. I’ve always hated television anyway because I see what a time waster it is. Plus I actually get depressed if I watch it too much. Unfortunately, Owen loves television. So I often get sucked into it even when I don’t want to. This is going to be so helpful! I can’t wait to just sit and talk with him. Or listen to music together.

Health Goals:

1. To Lose 10 pounds of fat by October 27th. I’m 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. Usually I hold onto this weight until I finish breastfeeding. But I also use breastfeeding as an excuse to have extra treats. I don’t want to do this, this time. And I don’t want to do stupid things to lose 10 pounds which prevents one from losing actual fat. I want to work out twice a week (once at the gym doing the elliptical trainer and circuit workouts, and going to Fit Camp once a week at a nearby Dojo that holds them for free). I don’t just want to be thinner, but firmer. We don’t plan on having any more children so now is the time to get back into great shape.

2. To Cut out Bread/Wheat out of our regular diet. It isn’t good for us. It turns to sugar. We have an intolerance/allergy anyway, especially Owen. He immediately stuffs up when he has it and his breathing issues is actually hurting his red blood cell count, so out of love for him, we just need to stop. Gluten Free is expensive, so I’d rather just eliminate bread altogether. I’m not going to go Paleo, but I do want to lean towards Primal (which from what I understand is Paleo but with dairy). We don’t do a lot of dairy because we have allergies/intolerance to it, but in moderation, it doesn’t hurt us and I absolutely love cheese and sour cream so would probably be extremely depressed if I lost it. I just need to get inspired: lettuce wrap tacos, spaghetti squash pastas, veggies dipped in tuna salad instead of crackers…that sort of thing. There are a lot of great food bloggers out there who have yummy paleo/primal recipes and I want to regularly visit them to get inspired.

So those are my goals. What are yours? Any apps we should know about to help us reach ours? Feel free to comment to show you are out there! Happy 2015!

Grace through Faith? Or Grace through Faith AND Works? : What the Bible Teaches

faith worksI recently was sharing a verse from Romans on Facebook about the Grace of God demonstrated even in the Old Testament and it got some positive replies. One of the replies was from my sister-in-law, who is LDS, and equally as passionate about her religious views as I am. She shared that she believed the bible teaches Faith and Works and cited two verses to support her claims. However, I think that when we take in the context of these verses and the verses from the other books in the bible, that this is not quite so. While works are often proof of faith, I don’t think the bible teaches that it works at earning Grace when paired with faith. Here are my reasons.

First of all I think there is no confusion that there are ridiculous amounts of verses that clearly say Grace comes through faith alone. I will not take too much time commenting on them as they speak for themselves. Take the time to read the context in these but here they are:

Paul clarifies that God has always deemed righteousness by faith and not by works in  Romans 4:2-3/13-15:

If, in fact, Abraham was justified by works, he had something to boast about—but not before God. What does Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness […] It was not through the law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith. 14 For if those who depend on the law are heirs, faith means nothing and the promise is worthless, 15 because the law brings wrath. And where there is no law there is no transgression.”

Here Paul goes on to explain, our good works are not what saved us. We were saved FOR our the ability to do good works. Therefore, Good works is the product of being saved. It is not what saves us  in Ephesians 2:8-10:

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”

He goes on to elaborate on why works cannot save us and how he is able to even complete good works in the first place due to his faith in Galatians 2:20-21:

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. 21“I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly.” 

Many people want to add “and works” to the equation for salvation because of fear that people who have faith will run around living ungodly lives all the while claiming they are covered in grace. But Paul clarifies again in Romans 6:1:

“What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you no know that all of us who have been baptizes into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”

sinner-saved-by-graceTrue faith means the old person has died and the saved person now lives. Our baptism into Christ’s family has made us new creations. Once we have the spirit of God within us, we can now truly do good works as all good we do will be rooted in Him and pointing to him. So how does Christ prepare us for Good works? Because when we truly have faith and a relationship with the one who saved us, God’s spirit within us will supernaturally lead us to follow him and want to please him and no longer have only our natural flesh to direct our path. Again, if you were saved from damnation, wouldn’t your inclination be to want to follow and love and know the one who saved you? Especially if you recognized your need of being saved? Grace through Faith does not give believers permission to live disgusting lives. In fact it is only through faith in Christ that we are even capable of doing good works in his eyes. But don’t other places in the bible say otherwise? there are two that may seem to at first glance. But God does not contradict himself. With further inspection we can see how these verses help believers no if they are really saved. Many people often use the words of James to claim it is faith and works that gives us salvation and eternal life in  James 2: 18-19 :

” Show me your faith without your[a] works, and I will show you my faith by my[b] works. 19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! 20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?[c]”

I love this verse. It clearly explains what is real faith. Simply believing there is a God is not a saving faith. Think about it. How many people do we know believe in God? Plenty. Especially in the States. But most of them live their lives like they are atheists. James compares that belief to the belief the demons have. What is the difference between demon’s belief in God and the saving faith of one of his Children? When we read the rest of the bible we see this–The demons believe there is a God. They believe he is the creator of the universe. They believe he is powerful. When we read the gospels, we learn that they believe Jesus is the savior. But they don’t love God. They don’t trust in his goodness and his grace. They don’t worship him or have a relationship with him. They continue to work with Satan in an attempt to overthrow God’s plans for humans. They are in rebellion against him. This faith is what James calls dead faith. True faith in God and Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior for that matter will naturally manifest itself in trust, in reverence, in a relationship whereby the believer lives what they believe. If they believe Jesus is the savior, and have faith that he saved them, they will live their life like they needed to be saved; in thankfulness, wanting to follow and serve their Lord and Savior. We can see this when we study the etymology of the Greek used in the original words of James. The word he used “pistis” is derived from “peithō” which is a primary VERB. Real faith will manifest itself in action. The verb means “to be persuaded, to suffer one’s self to be persuaded; to be induced to believe: to have faith: in a thing to believe; to be persuaded of a thing concerning a person; to listen to, obey, yield to, comply with; to trust, have confidence, be confident.”

faith isIt works like this…If I truly loved my husband, I wouldn’t have to remind myself to love him AND be nice to him. If I truly love him, that will naturally show itself in being nice. I could surely act nice and not love him, but it wouldn’t be authentic. Anyone can fake it. But its the heart that makes it true. Another way of looking at is by an illustration my husband likes to use: If I truly believe with all my heart that it is going to be pouring rain tomorrow. Then I will bring an umbrella and dress accordingly. If I don’t, I’d have to question whether I truly believed it or not.” Real Faith does not need to ADD Works. We will want to follow God. Will we be perfect at it? No way. But we will show fruit. We will show change in our life and continuous change as we continue in our walk and relationship with him. When we stop believing or stop loving him in action by praying and reading his word (Because if you believed you were saved from death by your Savior, you will naturally want to know him and talk with him) then you will start to revert back to your old ways. You will stop growing. We need Christ to grow in our perfection. This is called Sanctification. True believers will show fruit. Some more than others depending on where they started and how long they have been connected to the Vine (Christ).

This leads me to another verse that people often misunderstand as proving it is Faith AND Works that gives us salvation and eternal life.  Its the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:20-22:

“So then, you will know them by their fruits.21“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. 22“Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?”

Many people think this shows that doing the will of the father is what is needs to be added to faith in order to be saved because of this verse. But if they read the context, a few verses earlier Jesus says the following:

 ” 16“You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? 17“So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18“A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.”

We are incapable of even producing good fruit without being deemed good. And how are we deemed good? By our faith in Christ! Christ’s blood covers our sins so that we are washed white as snow. We are made righteous by our faith. He even further illustrates this in John 15:1-4 when Jesus says these words:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”

So does he say we produce fruit in order to have a chance to be grafted in the vine? Nope. We are already grafted in beforehand. So if it is faith alone that saves us and there are plenty of so-called Christians out there claiming to believe. How then do we know if we are truly saved people? Paul explains how to do so in 2 Corinthians 13:5-7:

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?

fruits-of-the-spirit-LOVELooking at our fruit helps us know whether we have real faith. And if we don’t , we can really determine if we have that faith or not. This happened to me when I was 28 years old. I had called myself a Christian for years until a situation arose where I had to look at my life. And I saw that I did not live like I did. I prayed only when I was in need of something and never read the bible. I was selfish, living in sexual sin, and when my live-in-boyfriend asked me questions about God, I had no answers for him because I didn’t even Know God. I felt God calling me to him and decided to try going to church again (after 13 years!). I heard the gospel message again and rededicated my life to the Lord. I felt the Spirit of God within me for the first time in my life and it changed me. I started reading the bible, worshiping him, tithing, and even moved out of my boyfriend’s house and stopped sleeping with him. He broke up with me and I still clung to Christ. I wanted to please him in all I did no matter how hard. Anyone who reads this blog can look at all my posts prior to January 6th, 2008 and will see some of my life before being saved. Mind you , it was a mommy blog then, so it was not anything crazy, but you will see I had a boyfriend of 6 years who I lived with and even had a child with. But I had to chose him or God. I chose God. That is the power of Christ!!! I boast in him and him alone. No way was that me. Now It is 7 years later. I am married to a sinner saved by grace who loves the lord and grows everyday in him. We have 4 beautiful children. And while I still battle with my flesh, it is my heart to still please God because I love him. And I continually show growth in my life year after year since I was saved, becoming more Christ-like. I am far from perfection but I trust that Christ will finish the good work he began in me that January 6th, 2008 when I am transformed and given my new body. I am a living testament to the power of a loving God who gives grace to sinners for loving him.

But what if we don’t get the chance to produce works from our faith? Are we really saved? The bible shows us that the answer is yes. It is faith alone! Look at the thief on the cross? He did nothing more than proclaim Christ as King and asked Jesus to save him. Christ declared he would be in paradise with Him. God knows our hearts. He knows if it is saving faith or not. And by that, I believe that had that thief not died on that Cross, he would have been living life a changed man in the early church age.

Another reason, it cannot be faith and works is because we still sin after being saved! Don’t believe me? John points out in  1 John 1:8-10:

“”If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.”

The thing is, just like the thief on the cross, we all still sin and deserve death. That is why we need a Savior! Confessing our sins is a verbal act stemmed in the saving faith in a Savior. If we recognize we are sinners, we recognize our need for a savior; if we recognize our need for a savior, we recognize the severity of our wrongs and in love for our God, we would confess those to him and apologize, asking him to save us because we know we cannot save ourselves. If his Word is in us, we will confess our sins and be continually cleansed so that we can continue to be good trees and produce good fruit if time allows. And this will be at a pace set by God. Some people show drastic change right away; some slowly change over time. Regardless, we show the fruit of our salvation stemmed in our saving faith in him by our works. And these works will not reap salvation, but rewards.

Paul explains this in  1 Corinthians 3: 13-15:

” But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. 14If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. 15But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames.”

Here we learn that at the “Bema” Seat Judgment (Google it or stay tuned for an upcoming blog on the subject), Lack of valuable works will not send us to hell. But instead, Christians lose rewards. Even Christ himself mentions this in Matthew 16:27:

“For the Son of Man is going to come in His Father’s glory with His angels, and then He will reward each person according to what He has done.”

But we will be saved from the wrath of the Great White Throne Judgment John mentions in Rev 20:11-15:

“Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. From his presence earth and sky fled away, and no place was found for them. 12 And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done.” Here, those with saving faith will have no sins on record because their slate was wiped clean by Christ. Their names will be written in a separate book.

jesusThank God in his grace that where I have fallen short, Christ has covered. Even David knew of this Grace when he prophesies in Psalm 103: 11-13 :

 11For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him. 12As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. 13Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.…”

In the end, if it took faith and works, then I’d still be relying on my works to finish where Christ left off. I’d be living my life trying to earn my salvation still and therefore trusting in my works to get me there. I’d be living in fear of messing up and not in joy of being set free. How many lies would I have to tell before I lied one too many and lost my salvation? How many good deeds would I need to do to make it? If you dishonored your parents 10 times but gave to the poor 20 times, would that get you into heaven? What if I never dishonored my parents but I never gave to the poor either? When we got to heaven, if we even could, we could boast in our works, and sympathize with the other believers who just didn’t do quite enough to actually be saved by their savior. See, by salvation being made by faith and works, it really just makes it by works. And it makes Christ’s death null and futile. Rewards come from works, but not salvation. It is through faith alone that leads to salvation. And when we stumble and fall, sinning, as we all do, we can trust that Christ has saved us. Because we have his word that promises his children that he has cast our sins “as far as the east is from the west.”

Children’s Book on How to Love like Jesus is Coming Soon!

Are you looking for a book to help your children learn how to be more loving? Not sure if my book is something right for you or your kids? Here is an excerpt from my first edition below! How to Love Like Jesus: A Guide for Children and Their Parents is a 32 page book that breaks down the famous verse “Love is patient, love is kind” etc for kid-friendly life-application. Each section is illustrated with examples and includes engaging questions to answer with a parent or alone depending on the child’s age. The book can be for parents to read with their kids or for kids to read on their own. It is written at a 2nd-3rd grade reading level but the content and application can be good for ages 3-12.

Some minor changes have been made since this draft that will make it even better. For example, I am swapping the pages so that the larger image comes first for context. Then there have been changes made with some of the wording in the text for easier readability.

The E-book will be out soon on Amazon for FREE! Would love people to download it and leave reviews. If you like it, the print version will also be available for purchase at a reasonable price. Hopefully in time for Christmas!!

excerpt_from_how_to_love_like_jesus

Four is a Charm

sleepy in our hospital bed as I recover from surgery.

sleepy in our hospital bed as I recover from surgery.

Scotland had her 2 week checkup today and passed with flying colors. She weighs 8 lbs, 5 oz now which means she not only met her birth weight, but exceeds it by a full pound and a couple of ounces. Even though she has a tongue tie like her brothers, she is nursing so well. When I was sitting there in the pediatrician’s office, hearing all of this good news I couldn’t help but think about all the other ways God has blessed this 4th pregnancy, the birth, and the baby.

Owen and I decided last year to get a Vasectomy because after 3 c-sections, each progressively harder on my body, we thought it would be the wise thing to do to protect my body from further damage. My recovery from the C-section after Benjamin’s birth was hard. And my wound wouldn’t heal. It kept opening up in the center so my doctor had to have me keep coming back for silver applications.

Then I learned about all of the risks that go significantly up for 4th c-sections. Scary stuff that can happen and much more likely on the 4th than any first three. Blood transfusions, uterine ruptures, bladder ruptures, intestinal damage, etc.

So I accepted that I would be a mother of three boys. And that would be it.

Crying well. Signs of a healthy newborn.

Crying well. Signs of a healthy newborn.

There was added relief as well I admit when we got the vasectomy. As much as I wanted a daughter one day, it was nice to know I wouldn’t have to suffer through the hemorrhoids from pregnancy weight and acid reflux that kept me up all night. I wouldn’t have to suffer through the weird effect of the spinal block I get when it spreads to my lungs and I feel like I can’t breathe on the operating table, squirming until the anesthesiologist puts an oxygen mask on my face to pull me out of the anxiety attack. Then of course our terrible luck with having NICU babies. Kanan was in NICU for 4 days. He had water in his lungs, a blood infection due to my water being broken for more than 24 hours, and a super high heart rate (side effect of the infection and my fever as well). Jameson never went to NICU, but because he was so big, they took him from me an extra hour to make sure he passed a glucose test. Then his high palate, severe tongue tie, and underbite made his latch so poor, even though he was in my room the entire time at the hospital, he had a real hard time nursing and lost too much weight so I had nurses pestering me and worrying me about his “thriving.” Then Benjamin didn’t cry when he was born. And he too was big so he had to take the glucose test, only to fail. So between those two things, they took him to the NICU as well. He was there for 2 days. Then with all three boys, I suffered from major postpartum anxiety. I had anxiety attacks with each one within the first couple of weeks after they were born and had a few more during the first year after they were born.

So I was thankful I wouldn’t have to experience any of that again.

First family photo of the six of us.  Benjamin, Kanan, me, Scotland, Owen, and Jameson.

First family photo of the six of us.
Benjamin, Kanan, me, Scotland, Owen, and Jameson.

And then I got pregnant. It was a 1 in 10,000 chance I heard. Owen’s sperm count 6 months post-vasectomy was actually higher than when he initially got the vasectomy. Most likely cause– the tubes actually regrew back together. The Doctor said this was very very rare.

I think this was God’s way of saying “vasectomy shmamectomy. You can’t stop my will.”

Fears of all of the above would build up in my mind after I learned of my pregnancy. But I couldn’t help but be reminded that if God could bypass a vasectomy to bring me my fourth child, he could surely get me through a 4th c-section.

Pretty little Scotland Amalia-Leme. Our gift from God.

Pretty little Scotland Amalia-Leme. Our gift from God.

And he did. He went over and beyond.

  1. First off, we learned we were having a girl at the ultrasound. Finally. Our daughter.
  2. My pregnancy was easier. No hemorrhoids. No acid reflux. Minimal weight gain (24 lbs).
  3. The surgery went smoothly. Even the anesthesia didn’t affect my breathing. I was calm the entire time. No difficulty breathing. I did lose enough blood to give me some platelet issues afterward and some anemia, but it was manageable.
  4. The baby was healthy. She is my smallest baby. A healthy 7 lbs, 2 oz. And it paid off. She didn’t need a glucose test. She passed her Apgar test. And they even brought her to me in the recovery room to nurse, something I never experienced with my boys because they were all taken from me.
  5. She stayed with me the entire time in my room. She nursed well. And while she was diagnosed with COOMS (a weird condition when the baby has a blood type that doesn’t like the mothers’ blood type, which makes them at a higher risk for Jaundice) she never developed jaundice.
  6. Finally, It has been 2 1/2 weeks since she has been born and only felt some anxiety one time while I was driving a couple of days ago. I had a fearful thought which lead my body to start going into anxiety attack mode, but I felt it developing, prayed, did some deep breathing, changed my thoughts and within a few minutes it was gone. That was it. By now with the boys, I would have had a few full fledged attacks.

God is so good. He laughed at our human attempt to stop him from blessing us with a girl. He blessed us anyway. And he protected me from all the fears that lead us to deciding on the vasectomy the first time.

Our last fear is how we will afford this 4th child. But something tells me, God will take care of that too.

Like birth stories? Check out the details of Kanan’s Birth Story, Jameson’s Birth Story, and Benjamin’s Birth Story too.

Perspective on my Purpose

The big theme of my life is to give more and stop being "too busy." Love is not selfish. If I want to reflect God more in my life, I need to give more.

The big theme of my life is to give more and stop being “too busy.” Love is not selfish. If I want to reflect God more in my life, I need to give more.

My pastor of my church has been taking us through an in depth study of Solomon’s Ecclesiastes. The deeper we go, the more we can see that Solomon saw the purposelessness of life without God and then how much God takes that and gives us purpose and meaning in all that we do when we center it on him.

It got me thinking.

Does every aspect of my life seek to glorify God?

And if not, how can I change my perspective on that aspect and create a deeper Christ-centered consciousness in that area.

So this is just a brain storm but I’m thinking about every big area/role of my life.

  1. Wife– How can I reflect God more in my role as a wife? I think I want to seek to understand my husband more, and to make sure especially during the next few months to attain to his sexual and emotional needs even when I am tired, dripping with breast milk, and over all not feeling sexy or loving and probably struggling with wavering post partum emotions (I hope not, but I’ve had postpartum anxiety with all three of my previous babies). But God wants us to be self-sacrificing and especially with our spouses, seeking to meet their needs above our own.
  2. Mother– I want to continue praying with my children each day but also reflecting God more by showing more patience and being less quick to yelling. I yell when they don’t listen. I know I can do better at this by being more consistent with training them to obey the first time, so that I’m not lead to frustration which prompts me to yell. I also want to make sure that my three boys feel loved even when they have to share attention with the new baby. I’d also like to get back into memorizing bible verses with the boys–something Owen got us started on last year, but since we moved we started slacking on.
  3. Homemaker– on top of working full time, and wanting to spend quality time with the kids in the few hours I have left with them at the end of the day and on the weekends, I just hate cleaning. Owen is very busy as well with his business. So cleaning gets put on the back-burner. I mean I clean every day. But it pretty much stays with the dishes and then a quick clutter check. By Sunday I can get around to doing a couple of loads of laundry, a sweep and a mop, a vacuum, and if I’m really good–a bathroom scrub down. This is stressful. I get grumpy. Especially if I feel like I’m the only one doing it. The kids help, but they are so young, its not a significant help. I want to have more of a heart of service. A heart of finding joy in serving my family by providing a clean home for them. But I also don’t want to be a Martha (see the book of John). I want to be wise when its time to put the scrub brush away and spend time with my kids. I don’t want them to remember their childhood as a time when Mom just cleaned and they played alone.
  4. Teacher-– I work in a public school. I wish I could just evangelize the entire time to this lost generation. I make sure though to give a different perspective and worldview on things when the topics arise. There is this christian group that shows up on Thursdays at lunch that feeds free pizza to kids who come and then gives them a gospel message. Tons of kids go. And they aren’t christian. I talked with the person who runs it and asked her if she’d be willing to have  a day where Christian teachers could give a quick 2 minute testimony to the kids. So the kids know that intelligent people can believe in Jesus. She loved the idea. When I come back from maternity I’ll pursue that a bit more. I also need to check with my teacher’s union to find out if I would be supported should I get any attacks from other teachers, students, parents, or administrators for making a stand during this meeting.
  5. Friend– I don’t spend time with my friends very often. And lately it seems like I’ve been more on the receiving end of blessings than I have been on the giving end. I want to check in with friends more. Find out how they are doing more. And if I can’t see them, to at least encourage them more via text or a phone call.
  6. Sister– same thing. Send out more encouraging texts. Make more attempts to get together. And be an example with the way I live my life.
  7. Daughter-– I don’t see my mom enough. I don’t call her enough. For the most part, I feel like I’m a pretty lame daughter. She lives in Newport Beach in a one room condo, so coming up with my big family seems often like an impossible feat. But I want to call her more at least. I’d like to talk at least once a week. Some of my friends talk with their mom’s every day. I would love to have that with my mom. But I can’t live my life wanting something but never making the effort to do that. I want her to know that even though we don’t see each other often, that I love her.
  8. Granddaughter--I want to finish my Grandmother Lois’s memoirs. I’m going to start in a couple of weeks. We are going to set up Monday calls. She tell me her life. I’ll record it. Then I’ll transcribe the recording by typing it out. She can’t write anymore, she is getting so tired. And she’s on an oxygen tank now. I want her to have her book before she goes. As for my other grandma, I want to call her more. My grandfather died a few months back and I know she stays busy, but I don’t want her to feel forgotten in that old folks home way up in L.A.
  9. Entrepreneur/Writer-– reflect God in all that I do by being encouraging and patient with my old memoir clients. To do a great job with every resume so that when my resume clients see that bible verse under my name in my email signature, they can say that the Christian resume writer had integrity and worked hard. We don’t need any more negative stereotypes about Christians. Finally, to get those Children’s books done. They are all Christ-centered. I just need people to read them!

I think the big theme here is for me to give more and stop using busy as my excuse. I get so busy, I tend to make busy our excuse for not loving people enough. For not being that light in their lives. It takes self-sacrifice. I struggle with the desire to blame. But Christ never did this. For me, my big issue is being too busy to reflect God. What is yours? What can you change in your life to show to reflect God more?

We Choose Life

I CHOOSE LIFE!

I CHOOSE LIFE!

I proudly wear my Choose Life T-shirt today.

After accumulated medical bills for doctor’s appointments, c-section, and hospital stay, as well as necessary purchases to accommodate the baby into our life such as baby supplies and a bigger car (4 kids in a 3 seated backseat is impossible), this will baby cost us over $14,000 by the time she leaves the hospital.

My maternity leave will also cost us money. While I am allowed FMLA, this does not mean I get 100 percent of my pay. It will cost me 100 dollars a day to be able to stay 8 weeks with my baby (standard FMLA for c-section deliveries), costing us an additional $4000. And I’m blessed with a job that even offers that. I just have to pay for my substitute teacher.

Then each month thereafter until she begins Kindergarten, once added day-care costs accumulate as well as cost for diapers, formula (if breastfeeding is not successful), solid foods, clothes, etc–it will cost an additional 600-700 a month for her. This is if she is healthy and does not need to go to the doctor’s.

We do not qualify for government assistance so we have to come up with the money on our own. But just because we don’t qualify does not mean this money is just lying around. These costs require us to make sacrifices and cut out other expenses, and it involves having to work harder and smarter to increase our income. This is even after frugally piling up charitable  hand-me-down baby items, and saving up left over baby items from our previous children (although not much from that because we gave most away after our vasectomy, having no idea we’d get pregnant again). This even includes utilizing health insurance.

Add to this the added physical tole the necessary 4th C-section will be on my body and the possible consequences it may have on my health due to the risks: blood transfusions, bladder rupture, intestinal complications, infection, possible hysterectomy, etc.

By many people’s standards, this baby could be viewed as “financially inconvenient” and a “health risk.” But we STILL choose life. We choose to see the blessing and not the hardship. We choose to give this precious human being a right to live. Because her life is worth it. Because God knit her together for a reason.

We will be okay. We may not have fancy furniture. We may not have trips to Hawaii. We may have to clip coupons and eat out less. We may have a frontyard that stays unlandscaped for a few more years. Who knows.

We may also not. Who can know the future. A fire could come again and burn our house down. My children’s books may take off once we publish and I may make more money than I ever had as a teacher.

Who can know the future? But Still We Choose Life. And We trust that God will get us through anything that comes our way in the future because of that decision.

We cannot wait for October 27th when I get to meet this little Scotland Amalia-Leme. We love her so much already.

If you are pregnant and concerned about the financial risks and inconvenience of having a baby, please don’t choose abortion. Check out resources like Pregnancy Resource Center. They can offer free and discounted baby supplies, as well as free parenting classes to help you feel prepared for this change in your life. You DO have a choice– a choice for life. There are ways to take care of this baby. And any other mother who has chosen life will tell you, the baby will be a blessing and worth every sacrifice and change in your life.

Owen and Theresa: a testimony

My husband Owen and I are celebrating our 5th Anniversary Today. We’ve come a long way. Most people who knew us when we first married didn’t think we’d last longer than 6 months because we got married very very quickly. And we may not have if wasn’t for God. This is our story.

HOW WE MET

Kanan and I the winter after I first met Owen.

Kanan and I the winter after I first met Owen.

We met on Christian Dating Site called Christian Mingle and had a few conversations through their messaging system, and a couple of phone conversations. Even our intial emails to each other were like a foreshadow to how our relationship would be at first. I had found his profile first. He was gorgeous. His profile was funny. He worked at a The Fish, a Christian Radio Station in Orange County, and his favorite bible verse was something other than John 3:16. I thought he seemed like a catch. I messaged him letting him know I liked his profile, told him a few things about myself and sent it. I didn’t hear back. Then like a month or two later, I get this email from him. He said he recently saw my profile, liked it, and asked me a few questions that I had already told him about in my email I sent him. So I knew he never read my first message. Gorgeous man as he is, I assumed he got so many, he just skipped mine to his other options and then just now was actually discovering me. So I sent him a sassy email back. Something to the effect of—I sent you a message a month ago introducing myself. Why don’t you go back through your old messages and actually read what I wrote you and you will get the answers to your question.

But he liked that. Said he liked “strong women.”

OUR FIRST DATE

Owen's profile picture on Christian Mingle

Owen’s profile picture on Christian Mingle

We finally went on a date. Met in San Clemente, a half way spot between Irvine and Oceanside. Certainly a physical attraction there, but I found him to be a bit arrogant and he found me to be a bit uptight. Furthermore, it became clear on the date, that he wasn’t actually Christian, but a Jack Mormon who cruised different Christian churches without ever joining one so he could keep a godly feel to his life without being held accountable to his Mormon faith, which he still subscribed to but didn’t live out. He insisted works were important to getting into heaven and that it couldn’t be faith alone. I called him out on it on the first date and shared some pretty strong reasons why he should question his religious beliefs and he told me that I should spend my time evangelizing atheists, not Mormons.  Yeah….spicy first date. Our last email after our date was rather snippy to one another. He shared with me what a simple guy he was and how dating me was more complicated than “reading an owner’s manual” to his iphone. I told him he was mean. And that was it.

Needless to say, we didn’t go out for a second date.

This was in October of 2008. Continue reading

Hold: 5 Minute Friday

By Soul Riser. Used with permission. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

By Soul Riser. Used with permission. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

There are a few moments from my life, that I wish I could hold forever. I wish I could capture them into a snow globe and place them on a shelf for me to pick up and hold again and again the rest of my life…looking into the moment…and seeing it, experiencing it all over again.

Those moments when my husband seems to just get me…to understand when I am overwhelmed with the duties of wife, and mother, and teacher, and housekeeper, and friend, and sister, and daughter…when he walks by and just holds me. A long and strong hold. And he doesn’t let go until I do.

That moment that started just a few days ago, when my 2-year-old, Benjamin said he wanted to pray too during our nightly family bedtime prayer. And then he closed his eyes real tight and murmured faintly,

“nanananana…..nananananana….daddy…. and KK….nanananana and JJ….and Mommy.”

And I knew he was thanking God for our family.

Holding Kanan, my oldest,  in the Nicu for the first time after a 24-hour-quarantine from him due to my high fever–I was a first time mom and amazed and exhilarated by this little life I had created with this big mop of long blonde hair on his head and piercing blue eyes. I missed him terribly after carrying him in my own body for 9 months, only to have him taken from me for 24-hours before I had a chance to even hold him. That first moment holding him in the NICU…yes…

I’d hold that moment earlier this week when Jameson, my middle son kissed my belly and said to me,

“I want to take care of Scotland, my baby sister, Mommy” with big, eager eyes and wide smile..his father’s smile.

Those long conversations with my father about life and love and politics over coffee on Saturday mornings on his front porch. His warm hugs afterward, always with sweater covered arms….Left only for me to hold in the fragments of memory, until I see him again in heaven.

My mom’s soft hands on my forehead when I was a girl. Always so comforting when I felt sick or sad. She has the softest hands. And sometimes, even though I’m almost 35 years old, I still want my mom to run her soft hands over my forehead, to hold my hands with her soft hands and soothe me with words of wisdom.


5 Minute Friday is a Blog Club I’ve joined. Kate Montaung, blogger of  Heading Home at KateMontaung.com sends out a word prompt, to which we set the timer for 5 minutes and write on. Come learn more at http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ .

Illustrations and Layout Issues in Children’s books

the whites of this character's eyes will have to come from the paper.  I will probably need to remove the background color too so the ink doesn't get too expensive when printing.

the whites of this character’s eyes will have to come from the paper. I will probably need to remove the background color too so the ink doesn’t get too expensive when printing.

You’d think that if you wanted to illustrate your own book, you could just draw and color your pictures and then send them off to be laid out in a book with no issues, right?

Venturing into the world of book publishing I am learning about all sorts of technical considerations when putting a book together. The big one that is affecting me is this issue with CYMK color. Apparently this is the color mode that books are printed in and when we color in Photoshop, it is not the default. So all of it needs to be switched over to this other code, which is not as vibrant and it’s range is more limiting. For example, it does not even include white. So now I have to go back through all of my illustrations and remove the white color from it, instead making it no color and then request that it be printed on white paper so that the white paper will show through the areas where no color was placed and have that be the white instead.

The second issue is not considering how I want it laid out before I drew the pictures. I drew my cover photo in a portrait position before I determined later that I thought my book would look best if it were printed in landscape. I’m now going to have to keep it in portrait because my illustrations just don’t work well with those layout types.

Then there is the gamble when finding a designer. I want to eventually learn how to use InDesign and the other software out there that I can use to create the e-books, but I just don’t have the time. So I’m taking some advice I got in a Linkedin group for children’s books writers to pay someone to layout my first book and then use that layout as a template for my other books as I learn the details of the software. Not a bad idea.

But how much should I pay? I don’t have funds yet for my books. My books are my attempt at teaching and reaching children and their parents, but with the hopes of it generating some income so I don’t have to leave my own kids to be taught by others while I run off and teach someone else’s kids. The irony makes me sick when I think of it. The prices out there range from as little as $150 if I go over seas, to as much as $5k if I choose a really good professional here in the states. But the average seems to be about $1500 here in the states. I’m going to try the person I found overseas and hope that I am happy with the results and that my test run on Amazon proves others like it too. If not, I may have to start taking some courses and become a professional book designer myself just to avoid having to pay those ridiculous costs for my future books.

For anyone interested, I am going to release my first book as a free e-book. I would love to share it with many people and get many people to try it out on their kindles and with their kids and on their ipads (is that possible when downloading from Amazon? I’ll have to look into that one too) and hopefully give me positive feedback, but any feedback is good so I can use it to revise and put out a better 2nd edition that I will then have in print as well. I don’t know about you, but I don’t do the e-book thing with my kids. We still like good old fashioned flip through the pages books. And if we are like that, I can’t help but wonder if most parents are still like that with their kids. In effect, I think it is essential that my book be sold in print form.k (UPDATE: HOW TO LOVE LIKE JESUS: A GUIDE FOR CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS IS NOW AVAILABLE HERE.)

When We Meet Grumpy Elderly People

copywrite @mimistock available for non-commerical reuse.

copywrite @mimistock available for non-commerical reuse.

I had the privilege of co-writing a memoir with an elderly woman living in Arizona named Marg. I interviewed her over the phone every Tuesday afternoon for the last 2 months.  I had to get used to her personality the first couple of times I spoke to her because she was highly irritable and immediately began ranting about her awful childhood. When I had asked simple questions during those first two initial phone interviews, she was really snippy  with me in her responses. I ended up having to pray to God to help me with own patience when working with her and asked him to help me develop compassion for this woman despite her disposition.

God immediately answered. As she began sharing more of her life with me, the struggles of her terrible childhood, the decision to marry the first person who talked to her in order to escape her parents, and the consequences of that decision that lead clear up until her 50’s, the Grace God showed her in her late second marriage with all the love and happiness any woman could dream of in this relationship, only for it to end in a terrible death that left her broken and waiting on Jesus to take her home…how could I not begin to care…to understand…?

After a couple more conversations, she began calling me “honey” and wishing me well until the following week when we would speak again. She began asking questions about me and showing interest. We formed a friendship. One that I hope doesn’t end at the culmination of this memoir. She has finished her interviews. Her last one went over her husband’s death and her daughter’s death and how it impacted her. She left her wisdom for her grandchildren and great grandchildren in hopes that they would learn from the trials in her life as well as the blessing. Her last words, asking that they seek God and his grace through Jesus because it is all that matters in the end. I wept throughout most of the last hour we spoke, listening to her words, and processing it all. She asked me after, so humbly and childlike…

” Is my story worthy of a book? Should I have shared this?”

“Oh yes, Marg. Yes, your story needs to be heard. You have been through so much that others can learn from. You’ve had so many tough experiences, but your wisdom in your reflection on them is so poignant. People need to read this. I can’t wait to read it once it is all put together.”

She seemed comforted by this. Like as if somehow this book provided her some sort of resolution or completion. Like it made it all worth it. She has been feeling very weak the last couple of weeks and thinks she is not going to be here much longer. I think this book was her last creation. Her last method of reaching out to the world before she leaves in hopes that she can leave some sort of legacy.

“Ok then. Well I’ll wait for you to call again and tell me what the next steps are after this, ” she said quietly.

I can’t wait. I hope she can see it before she goes home—complete with the speckled bird she is having illustrated for the cover of her book– a symbol of herself.

One thing I have certainly learned from this experience is that when we come across grumpy old people, to be extra compassionate toward them. Grumpy old people are broken people…people who have endured many trials and have many regrets. People who have loved and lost greatly. And people who could be either just waiting for Jesus if they know him, or just waiting for death, if they don’t. They need extra patience. And who knows….maybe if you are blessed like me, your patience will soften their hearts to open up to you and to care about you. Who knows…you could be the only person in their life who they even talk to anymore or who shows an ounce of care.