Perspective on my Purpose

The big theme of my life is to give more and stop being "too busy." Love is not selfish. If I want to reflect God more in my life, I need to give more.

The big theme of my life is to give more and stop being “too busy.” Love is not selfish. If I want to reflect God more in my life, I need to give more.

My pastor of my church has been taking us through an in depth study of Solomon’s Ecclesiastes. The deeper we go, the more we can see that Solomon saw the purposelessness of life without God and then how much God takes that and gives us purpose and meaning in all that we do when we center it on him.

It got me thinking.

Does every aspect of my life seek to glorify God?

And if not, how can I change my perspective on that aspect and create a deeper Christ-centered consciousness in that area.

So this is just a brain storm but I’m thinking about every big area/role of my life.

  1. Wife– How can I reflect God more in my role as a wife? I think I want to seek to understand my husband more, and to make sure especially during the next few months to attain to his sexual and emotional needs even when I am tired, dripping with breast milk, and over all not feeling sexy or loving and probably struggling with wavering post partum emotions (I hope not, but I’ve had postpartum anxiety with all three of my previous babies). But God wants us to be self-sacrificing and especially with our spouses, seeking to meet their needs above our own.
  2. Mother– I want to continue praying with my children each day but also reflecting God more by showing more patience and being less quick to yelling. I yell when they don’t listen. I know I can do better at this by being more consistent with training them to obey the first time, so that I’m not lead to frustration which prompts me to yell. I also want to make sure that my three boys feel loved even when they have to share attention with the new baby. I’d also like to get back into memorizing bible verses with the boys–something Owen got us started on last year, but since we moved we started slacking on.
  3. Homemaker– on top of working full time, and wanting to spend quality time with the kids in the few hours I have left with them at the end of the day and on the weekends, I just hate cleaning. Owen is very busy as well with his business. So cleaning gets put on the back-burner. I mean I clean every day. But it pretty much stays with the dishes and then a quick clutter check. By Sunday I can get around to doing a couple of loads of laundry, a sweep and a mop, a vacuum, and if I’m really good–a bathroom scrub down. This is stressful. I get grumpy. Especially if I feel like I’m the only one doing it. The kids help, but they are so young, its not a significant help. I want to have more of a heart of service. A heart of finding joy in serving my family by providing a clean home for them. But I also don’t want to be a Martha (see the book of John). I want to be wise when its time to put the scrub brush away and spend time with my kids. I don’t want them to remember their childhood as a time when Mom just cleaned and they played alone.
  4. Teacher-– I work in a public school. I wish I could just evangelize the entire time to this lost generation. I make sure though to give a different perspective and worldview on things when the topics arise. There is this christian group that shows up on Thursdays at lunch that feeds free pizza to kids who come and then gives them a gospel message. Tons of kids go. And they aren’t christian. I talked with the person who runs it and asked her if she’d be willing to have  a day where Christian teachers could give a quick 2 minute testimony to the kids. So the kids know that intelligent people can believe in Jesus. She loved the idea. When I come back from maternity I’ll pursue that a bit more. I also need to check with my teacher’s union to find out if I would be supported should I get any attacks from other teachers, students, parents, or administrators for making a stand during this meeting.
  5. Friend– I don’t spend time with my friends very often. And lately it seems like I’ve been more on the receiving end of blessings than I have been on the giving end. I want to check in with friends more. Find out how they are doing more. And if I can’t see them, to at least encourage them more via text or a phone call.
  6. Sister– same thing. Send out more encouraging texts. Make more attempts to get together. And be an example with the way I live my life.
  7. Daughter-– I don’t see my mom enough. I don’t call her enough. For the most part, I feel like I’m a pretty lame daughter. She lives in Newport Beach in a one room condo, so coming up with my big family seems often like an impossible feat. But I want to call her more at least. I’d like to talk at least once a week. Some of my friends talk with their mom’s every day. I would love to have that with my mom. But I can’t live my life wanting something but never making the effort to do that. I want her to know that even though we don’t see each other often, that I love her.
  8. Granddaughter--I want to finish my Grandmother Lois’s memoirs. I’m going to start in a couple of weeks. We are going to set up Monday calls. She tell me her life. I’ll record it. Then I’ll transcribe the recording by typing it out. She can’t write anymore, she is getting so tired. And she’s on an oxygen tank now. I want her to have her book before she goes. As for my other grandma, I want to call her more. My grandfather died a few months back and I know she stays busy, but I don’t want her to feel forgotten in that old folks home way up in L.A.
  9. Entrepreneur/Writer-– reflect God in all that I do by being encouraging and patient with my old memoir clients. To do a great job with every resume so that when my resume clients see that bible verse under my name in my email signature, they can say that the Christian resume writer had integrity and worked hard. We don’t need any more negative stereotypes about Christians. Finally, to get those Children’s books done. They are all Christ-centered. I just need people to read them!

I think the big theme here is for me to give more and stop using busy as my excuse. I get so busy, I tend to make busy our excuse for not loving people enough. For not being that light in their lives. It takes self-sacrifice. I struggle with the desire to blame. But Christ never did this. For me, my big issue is being too busy to reflect God. What is yours? What can you change in your life to show to reflect God more?

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Back To Work= Messy House

These are the most important people in my life. I don't want to miss out time with them because I'm cleaning.

These are the most important people in my life. I don’t want to miss out time with them because I’m cleaning.

I have two choices when I get home. I can spend time with my kids. Or I can clean up the house.

I want to do both. But there is no time for both. I pick up the boys at 415 after a 45 minute commute, we make it home and they play while I cook dinner. Dinner is around 5. Then afterward they run around and play while I try to do everything but never have the time to do it all. And that is on an easy day. A day without doctor’s appointments, grocery runs, karate practice, or bible studies.

Still….my hate for mess, finds me often telling my kids to “wait a minute while I finish [fill in the blank here].”

They want to spend time with me. They want me to push them on the swing or watch them do back flips on the trampoline. They want me to play legos or to look at the spider they found. And I absolutely HATE washing dishes.

Then why? Why do I continually push that time away from them to wash the dreaded dishes? Because in the end, after the dishes are done and dinner is eaten, its time for baths and pajamas and teeth brushing. And bed. And then I am sitting there, missing my kids and wondering how I lost the time.

The dishes can wait, right?

I don’t want my children’s memory of me to always be the one who was around but never really there. When I’m not working, I have time to take them to the park, or read stories to them, or cuddle on the couch watching morning cartoons. It is those days I can say, “wait a minute.” But Monday-Friday, I need to just stop.

I want to wash dishes after they go to bed. And I want to complete one simple, quick chore a day that I can do to keep the house up and get back to being with my kids.

I also need to get my 7-year-old to do a daily chore and get my toddlers participating a bit more. One idea I also came up with after I wrote this is—don’t give them unmonitored free play time while I’m cooking. That is often when they make their biggest messes (especially the toddlers). Instead, I think I will set them up at the kitchen table for some table activities while I cook and Kanan does his homework. Then after dinner we spend 10 minutes cleaning up the room together or with some of my direction as I do my quick chore. 

I read this great book last year also called The Get Organized Project by Kathy Lipp. She had great ideas, a lot of which I have applied. But one that I have stopped doing was putting a paper towel roll and a spray bottle of cleaning spray in each bathroom. And that way I can clean it up when the kids are bathing and not have to leave the restroom to get anything (which is often the deal breaker when the thought of cleaning it comes to mind). I can do the same after I use my restroom…just a quick spray and wipe of a counter or toilet after leaving without needing to go out and find all the supplies can make a big difference. By Saturday, I might just have a floor to sweep and that’s it. 

Okay so here is a rough plan.


 

Monday-– Me– wipe down bathroom counters and wash a load of laundry.

Tuesday– Me– fold the load of laundry.

Wednesday— Kanan, h.w and karate. Me– sweep kitchen floor, gym

Thursday–Kanan–h.w, trash and clean bedroom. Me–clear up clutter from living room.

Friday--Kanan–dust. Me–wash a load of laundry.

Saturday-– kanan and me–fold a load of laundry and me–clean a bathroom (we have two). 

Sunday-– 20 minutes per room (hubby and wife turbo house clean up).


So what do you other moms, working or non-working, do to keep your house in order with toddlers and the hectic schedules that come with all our many tasks?