Why I’m Leaving My Job to Stay at Home

10665086_10153306429439746_6094945465861559680_nPast Tears and Prayers

I cannot tell you how many times I have cried on my way to work, missing the baby smells of all four of my children’s bald little heads each time I returned to teaching after maternity leave. I’ve felt jealous that some other woman got to hold them, teach them, watch them take their first steps or say their first words and then lie to me when I picked them up so that I did’t get my feelings hurt for not being the one for whom my children showed off.

I cannot tell you how many times I have begged God to open the doors to bring me home and close the doors that keep me working 45-minutes away and so hard that when I come home I am worthless: I’m tired, having given all my energy to other people’s children, and now feigning enthusiasm when my own kids or husband want to share the excitement from their day, but all I can think of is that stack of papers to grade, and that lesson to still plan, and how I’m going to do that along with giving everyone their baths and making dinner and still grabbing that box of diapers because we are down to the last one and the baby will need a fresh one before bedtime. I can barely breathe just saying those words aloud.

10731153_10153301356889746_428918937321489811_nMy husband helps so much. He is a wonderful and attentive father. He wakes up with the kids and makes sure they have breakfast and are dressed before taking them to daycare or school while encouraging them in the day’s events. He takes them to their doctors appointments while I’m at work, reads bible stories in the evening with them, helps them practice their karate moves and makes sure they go through their checkoff list before bed before awarding them their prize-earning stickers. He leads us all in prayer. So I can’t get upset and say my husband doesn’t help. He does. In many ways, he does a better job than I do all while running a business from home.

11537903_1416455935350373_3951834884061779110_oThe Answer

But one day on my way to work two years ago, after I left my daughter with the daycare provider at 8-weeks-old, I was crying to God as usual and felt him strongly tell me that he would bring me home one day, but not now. That I wasn’t ready and that Owen wasn’t ready. We still had more to learn to prepare us. The thoughts came out of no where. I was crying, asking God to please get me laid off  or something and then the words just stopped me in my tracks. I remember it clearly now, sitting at the red light on the 76 right before the 15-on-ramp. And a peace just overcame me. Ok, God. For those of you who have a relationship with the Lord, you know what I’m talking about. When the thoughts and feelings are clearly not yours but they nudge you from the side in the midst of your thought, headed in a different direction entirely. And you test them by comparing them to what the Bible teaches to find they do line up. Then you know–this is from God.

I decided then and there that if this was the case, I was going to really enjoy my job while I still had it. And I did. I’ve always enjoyed teaching, it certainly is a job I love,  but I embraced it with a joy I hadn’t had in years–rekindled that early love for it. You know the kind? The one with fresh ideas and untainted expectation? I’ve written about this in the past. I have felt like a “born again” teacher the last couple of years.

Growth

11224331_10153372509787969_7440667631282452323_nAnd then four months after I drove on to that north-bound freeway at 6:15 that tearful morning,  Owen was diagnosed with stage 3 Thymus Cancer.

And we grew.

Night sweats, chest pains, weight-loss, then finally–answers. Then it was surgery,  chemotherapy, and radiation. Loss of hair, weight, and pride. We were pruned. Stretched. We grew faith and hope. I developed a supernatural strength I didn’t knew I could have. Owen softened with patience and compassion he struggled with before. It was a painful and beautiful trial. Not just our family. But for our friendships, and our marriage.

And then after one year of treatment while still running his business (he is a rock star!), Owen was healed from Cancer. And we celebrated and grew some more as we basked in the sunlight of hope, ready for further growth and new possibilities. Last week we just got our news that Owen is still cancer-free after one year since treatment.

14055127_1266185730072219_2370877723585375866_nThat summer during treatment two years ago, I worked on creating content for a marriage app I invented, realizing I should apply some of what I preached to the world around me. The ideas multiplied. Ideas lead to paper, led to spread sheets, lead to app developers and branding designs. And we grew some more. Then over the last year, the idea for the marriage app morphed into a marriage Facebook page and private group that has lead me to be a part of a movement to strengthen marriages and heal broken ones called Thriving, Sexy Marriages. And so we grew some more. Marriage app still to come. But something else has sprouted in the process.

The Turning Point and the Faith of a Child (or a Husband)

Owen_4_months_before_diagnosisSo when my husband’s business went through some changes this winter that lead us to to reconsider our understanding of God and to trust him in ways we didn’t understand, I would never have guessed that it would yield in my husband a desire for me to step out in faith with him and quit my job to come home. By no means was it a surge of prosperity that lead to this decision. Something I thought would need to happen for that decision to ever happen.

This was not how I had envisioned it. But God’s plans are not our plans. God did not say we weren’t ready yet because Owen’s business wasn’t making him so rich we could quit mine and still live a life of quarterly weekend getaways, season passes to Legoland, and a winter cabin in Big Bear. I thought this when he said we weren’t ready. But I have learned that God was talking about our character. Our faith. Our growth as husband and wife. Our unity and vision for our future.

224049_10150277882159746_816151_nWhat is Next

Taking a leave of absence from  my well-paying job to stay home will take sacrifice, there is no denying that. At least for now. But we have plans to be a husband-wife team. I will not be trading grading papers and lecturing seniors on the rhetorical triangle for lying around all day cuddling with my 2-year-old and watching day-time television or making Pinterest boards on animal shaped sandwiches. While cuddles will certainly be apart of my day, it will also be helping my husband out with his business, finishing my other children’s books, growing my blog,  and growing our marriage ministry so that we can make it a virtual marriage support movement–something that could lead to courses and books and private coaching or accountability.  Owen and I have learned so much through just our short seven-and-a-half years together. And we know that in the trials that have hit our marriage, what the darkness intended to destroy, God is using for good.

15895156_10210707506737750_2280544613316238102_nSo we will need to work at it. And it may be tight for awhile.  And there may very well be some conflict. But yes, I will also be able to take my kids to school. I will be able to teach my daughter how to read and put her down for her naps and enjoy her company at lunch. I don’t have to hear my son Jameson pray at the dinner table that his Mommy could get her work done faster so she could play with him. I will be able to pick up my boys from school and do homework with them in the afternoons. I will be able to enjoy them in the evening without a distracting pile of papers to grade.

And just as importantly, I will be able to watch them walk across the stage at high school or college graduation, without regretting losing those precious moments with them in those short years God lent them to us because I wanted fancy face washes, Arbonne shakes, and shiny cars, or a remodeled bathroom. I don’t want those material things at the expense of my children saying they remembered me as the stressed out mom who rushed them through everything– never really present.

14918948_10155407468274746_8711807688632773943_oPersonal Faith and Purpose

So that’s my story. That’s my reason. I don’t write this to guilt-trip any working moms. We are all different and I’m sure there are many working moms who can do both well. But I’m just not one of them. I can do one really well and the other just mediocre. And I’m tired of putting my kids second. And I can’t really get away with doing the other mediocre in the age of test scores and professional development accountability. This is God’s call on my life.

Until then, when my husband says lets step out in faith and see what God can do with the passions and talents he has given us, I say heck yes. I already feel a change happening within me just knowing it’s 5 weeks away. It makes me want to hold on to my husband, my kids, and Jesus all the more tightly because I have to let go of my idol of a stable income.

14956009_10155407464944746_2339658837828538358_nBut I think that is a good thing.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a blind faith. We’ve crunched the numbers. We’ve looked into health insurance. We’ve looked at our mortgage budget. It will be tight at first. But it can be done and it can and can loosen up later. The difference is that when you work solely on bringing income from your own business, the income varies month to month. It doesn’t feel as “safe” as a contracted salary position. So there is a reliance on the Lord that doesn’t happen when relying on that steady paycheck with the exact same number every month. But what it also means, is that there is no cap on our income. We get what we put into it too. If I help my husband with his business Videospot, his business can grow faster. If he helps me with the Thriving, Sexy Marriage business (he is an expert in selling with video, by the way) then I can eventually bring in some supplemental income through that business project to keep me home with my babies.

And I don’t doubt for a second that God will certainly show off for me since I’ve given him room to do so. A good friend of mine, Jamie once asked me–how can we see God’s power in our lives if we don’t give him a chance to show off for us because we play it safe? In the end, I think it is rooted in distrust of God. And that is unwarranted.

And if I’m wrong–perhaps yes, we’ve seen all the wrong signs or God wants this to be just temporary and hasn’t revealed that to us as of yet, my leave of absence allows me to return to my secure job as a teacher in a year or two. Within two years though, we hope to have a clearer picture of the road ahead. We won’t know until we take that turn down that road

I don’t know the future, but I know I’ve got a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. I’m tired of walking down a different path than my family. There are here in Vista and my husband has this vision for our future that I want to be a part of, but I’m on this side-road heading off in a different direction, constantly shouting over the valley between us, saying, “You can do it honey!” I want to be with him. I want to say “we can do it.” And when two people share a common vision and work together to achieve it, I don’t see how that could not lead to many good and plentiful blessings.

Those two paths have finally joined because of my husband’s faith and vision. It is a faith of God’s child. And I will not say no because Lord, we are ready to walk down it, wherever it leads. united toward a one vision

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Night

nightI love the night. While the sky darkens and the sun hides its head under the horizon, reality and what really matters become clearer in my home.

As a working mom, my day is filled with chaos— most days are a spit up cleaning, diaper changing, The Regular Show watching, grocery shopping, worker beeing, traffic sitting, copy machines breaking, coffee spilling, kids screaming, lesson planning, internet researching, phone texting, Facebook scrolling, dinner scrambling, dirty boy washing, loud music playing kind of day. It’s hard to see and hear and be under it all.

But at night…

We cuddle with our children as we settle for bed. We read stories or tell stories and above all else, we pray together. Owen and I listen to their prayers first as we close our eyes and then model other ways to pray. But sometimes their prayers are our model—pure and unadulterated, open to see what we as adults don’t see in the hubbub of the loud and distracting day.

Thank you for the funny people in our town

Thank you for my toes

Thank you for our pictures

At night as Owen and I lay in bed, I’ll wake up in the stillness to feel him reach out his arm over to mine …and I know he is saying, “I’m not mad at you for that spat we had yesterday afternoon right before dinner. I love you.” And then I scoot over closer to him and make sure that at least one part of my body is touching his thereafter–a foot, a hand, a leg.

The humble truth comes out at night. None of the chaos matters. You matter. We matter. God matters.

At night-time, we talk about our day, we ask for advise, share our fears, our laughter, our conquests and need for growth.

We have time to be still at night. To breathe in deeply and know we are here and we have a purpose and we are blessed. That God is here with us. That we are each others’ biggest fans.

Night brings us back to center like a Sunday sermon, giving us the strength to make it through the next day.

Hold: 5 Minute Friday

By Soul Riser. Used with permission. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

By Soul Riser. Used with permission. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

There are a few moments from my life, that I wish I could hold forever. I wish I could capture them into a snow globe and place them on a shelf for me to pick up and hold again and again the rest of my life…looking into the moment…and seeing it, experiencing it all over again.

Those moments when my husband seems to just get me…to understand when I am overwhelmed with the duties of wife, and mother, and teacher, and housekeeper, and friend, and sister, and daughter…when he walks by and just holds me. A long and strong hold. And he doesn’t let go until I do.

That moment that started just a few days ago, when my 2-year-old, Benjamin said he wanted to pray too during our nightly family bedtime prayer. And then he closed his eyes real tight and murmured faintly,

“nanananana…..nananananana….daddy…. and KK….nanananana and JJ….and Mommy.”

And I knew he was thanking God for our family.

Holding Kanan, my oldest,  in the Nicu for the first time after a 24-hour-quarantine from him due to my high fever–I was a first time mom and amazed and exhilarated by this little life I had created with this big mop of long blonde hair on his head and piercing blue eyes. I missed him terribly after carrying him in my own body for 9 months, only to have him taken from me for 24-hours before I had a chance to even hold him. That first moment holding him in the NICU…yes…

I’d hold that moment earlier this week when Jameson, my middle son kissed my belly and said to me,

“I want to take care of Scotland, my baby sister, Mommy” with big, eager eyes and wide smile..his father’s smile.

Those long conversations with my father about life and love and politics over coffee on Saturday mornings on his front porch. His warm hugs afterward, always with sweater covered arms….Left only for me to hold in the fragments of memory, until I see him again in heaven.

My mom’s soft hands on my forehead when I was a girl. Always so comforting when I felt sick or sad. She has the softest hands. And sometimes, even though I’m almost 35 years old, I still want my mom to run her soft hands over my forehead, to hold my hands with her soft hands and soothe me with words of wisdom.


5 Minute Friday is a Blog Club I’ve joined. Kate Montaung, blogger of  Heading Home at KateMontaung.com sends out a word prompt, to which we set the timer for 5 minutes and write on. Come learn more at http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ .

Back To Work= Messy House

These are the most important people in my life. I don't want to miss out time with them because I'm cleaning.

These are the most important people in my life. I don’t want to miss out time with them because I’m cleaning.

I have two choices when I get home. I can spend time with my kids. Or I can clean up the house.

I want to do both. But there is no time for both. I pick up the boys at 415 after a 45 minute commute, we make it home and they play while I cook dinner. Dinner is around 5. Then afterward they run around and play while I try to do everything but never have the time to do it all. And that is on an easy day. A day without doctor’s appointments, grocery runs, karate practice, or bible studies.

Still….my hate for mess, finds me often telling my kids to “wait a minute while I finish [fill in the blank here].”

They want to spend time with me. They want me to push them on the swing or watch them do back flips on the trampoline. They want me to play legos or to look at the spider they found. And I absolutely HATE washing dishes.

Then why? Why do I continually push that time away from them to wash the dreaded dishes? Because in the end, after the dishes are done and dinner is eaten, its time for baths and pajamas and teeth brushing. And bed. And then I am sitting there, missing my kids and wondering how I lost the time.

The dishes can wait, right?

I don’t want my children’s memory of me to always be the one who was around but never really there. When I’m not working, I have time to take them to the park, or read stories to them, or cuddle on the couch watching morning cartoons. It is those days I can say, “wait a minute.” But Monday-Friday, I need to just stop.

I want to wash dishes after they go to bed. And I want to complete one simple, quick chore a day that I can do to keep the house up and get back to being with my kids.

I also need to get my 7-year-old to do a daily chore and get my toddlers participating a bit more. One idea I also came up with after I wrote this is—don’t give them unmonitored free play time while I’m cooking. That is often when they make their biggest messes (especially the toddlers). Instead, I think I will set them up at the kitchen table for some table activities while I cook and Kanan does his homework. Then after dinner we spend 10 minutes cleaning up the room together or with some of my direction as I do my quick chore. 

I read this great book last year also called The Get Organized Project by Kathy Lipp. She had great ideas, a lot of which I have applied. But one that I have stopped doing was putting a paper towel roll and a spray bottle of cleaning spray in each bathroom. And that way I can clean it up when the kids are bathing and not have to leave the restroom to get anything (which is often the deal breaker when the thought of cleaning it comes to mind). I can do the same after I use my restroom…just a quick spray and wipe of a counter or toilet after leaving without needing to go out and find all the supplies can make a big difference. By Saturday, I might just have a floor to sweep and that’s it. 

Okay so here is a rough plan.


 

Monday-– Me– wipe down bathroom counters and wash a load of laundry.

Tuesday– Me– fold the load of laundry.

Wednesday— Kanan, h.w and karate. Me– sweep kitchen floor, gym

Thursday–Kanan–h.w, trash and clean bedroom. Me–clear up clutter from living room.

Friday--Kanan–dust. Me–wash a load of laundry.

Saturday-– kanan and me–fold a load of laundry and me–clean a bathroom (we have two). 

Sunday-– 20 minutes per room (hubby and wife turbo house clean up).


So what do you other moms, working or non-working, do to keep your house in order with toddlers and the hectic schedules that come with all our many tasks? 

 

Blessed Moments: week one of summer vacation

Family minus K in Big Bear

Family minus K in Big Bear

This summer, I’m going to blog about the blessed moments I  enjoy week by week.It often feels like summer just flys on by and I often wonder where the time went and whether I experienced all that I wanted to experience while there. This summer I have eight blessed weeks to spend with my husband, my boys, my friends, and my family. Those eight weeks have to charge me up for Fall before I can get recharged during winter break for round two in the spring. I want to savor every blessed moment. What’s a better way than blogging about it, right?So my summer kind of started this last weekend because I did have to report to work on Monday, but was allowed to use that time how I wanted and so I used it to organize my classroom for the Fall (something I usually do at the end of my summer break, but still during break.) So this first week of Summer’s blessed moments will start the weekend of June 8/9.

Big Bear Crew

Big Bear Crew

Friday, June 7th- Sunday, June 9th: Drove up to Big Bear with my hubby and two of our sons (Kanan stayed with his dad for this week’s rotation) and met up with my brother, his wife, and their friends for a relaxing weekend in a huge cabin in Big Bear. We cooked dinners together, played pool and pingpong, went shopping (I got a gorgeous yellow infinity scarf and a cute creme colored summer top), the boys went fishing, took naps, chatted…it was awesome. A wonderful way to kick off my break by forcing me to just be still. At home on a usual weekend, I’m running around trying to get everything I can’t get done in the work week done—ie laundry, house work, meal prep,etc. I felt like I really grew closer to my brother and his wife, and fell absolutelyl in love with their friends. Just good people.

Buddies---Jameson and Peyton

Buddies—Jameson and Peyton

And as an added blessing, our son Jameson, who is 2, and my brother’s son Peyton, who is almost 3, had an absolute blast together! They were two peas. It was so sweet. I grew up close with my cousins and really want that same experience for my kids and their cousins. This was such a moment. 🙂 I also got to take a break from my coffee boycott and enjoy coffee all weekend, with that yummy vanilla cremer.

Oh and bittersweet moment here, but needs to be noted–Benjamin decided this weekend in Big Bear that he didn’t care for breastfeeding anymore. He decided to tell me by biting me in a final session before absolutely refusing any other session thereafter! The rest of this week will be marked with my own withdrawals from the special moments as well as physically havign to adjust (He cut me off cold turkey! My body is freaking out!) And third–feeling excited about the multivitamin I have been wanting to take but haven’t been able to because it has all these herbs in it that could affect Benny Boo, the juice detox now in my near future, and the DHEA I have been wanting to take to get my adrenals back in gear (I’ve been depleted for too long and have blood work to prove it. Can’t wait to see the results–energy, better mood, and a whole bunch of other positive effects that I have missed because they are so shot (Thanks to career, coffee, and kids…haha).

Monday, June 10th— Got to spend the whole day organizing my classroom for the Fall. Last year, I didn’t get a chance because I had just had Benjamin, so I started the Fall late and completely unorganized. This followed me the rest of the year. Not this Fall. I am organized, baby! And in a new room, which will be installed with a Smartboard and a class set of Chromebooks! See ya later, paper!

Loving Captain Underpants---Kanan and I

Loving Captain Underpants—Kanan and I

Tuesday, June 11th—1)Took a three hour nap on the couch in the afternoon while the babies napped. 2)Took both babies individually out for a bikeride. They loved sitting in the Weeride seat (sits in front, between rider’s legs) and were all smiles for the ride. 3)Went shopping with my hubbies and the babies—groceries, a fishing pole for owen, a tricycle for JJ, and a helmet for Benjamin (who looked adorable in it, btw).

Wednesday, June 12th— 1)Went to Kanan’s last day of school family picnic and watched him run around with his friends as Jameson followed, while I chatted with another mom named Amery, who moved her from South Africa. 2)Filmed a commercial for a local Party Supplier with my hubby at the studio. 3) Read the first 2 chapters of Captain Underpants (the first book) with Kanan as the babies napped.

JJ and Kanan stopping their skooter session so Mom could take a picture. JJ was so excited!

JJ and Kanan stopping their skooter session so Mom could take a picture. JJ was so excited!

Thursday, June 13th— 1) Went to the Oceanside Farmer’s market and sampled yummy foods with the boys. Then watched them skooter around together. Jameson was so happy and excited. It was the first time I really saw Jameson as a little boy and not a baby. So precious. He is so good on his skooter too for just getting it–a real natural. Who would think he is just barely two years old? Kanan of course, is a natural. 2) played with Benjamin while JJ napped and witnesed Benjamin get the wooden rings onto the stick for the first time (What is that toy called?). 3)Enjoyed great fellowship and bible study with our fellowship group that night–heard awesome news too. Our friends, the Davis’s, finally sold their business.

Friday, June 14th–Took the boys to Grandma Linda’s to go swimming and visit a little. I love being able to see them on a whim. JJ loved the water but was afraid to go past the steps with just his life jacket on. But he had a blast on the steps and Kanan had a good time dog paddling around the pool. Today, Benjamin also said “Dada” AND “Mama” for the first time! He said “Dada” when excited to be home with Owen in the living room. And he said “Mama” when he was upset about being put down and wanted me to pick him back up.

Teenagers These Days: rantings of a scribbling woman

I’ve got a stack of ninth grade English class essays in front of me that I just started reading. I’m down to the last five and am learning so much about my students. It’s perfect that we plan for this essay the first six weeks because for the kids who actually do the essay (an autobiographical narrative), it does teach me much about why they are the way they are.

But this year, I am especially sad by what I am reading. Sure, the bad grammar and elementary vocabulary is depressing, but more importantly, it’s the stories. I asked my students to write about a time in their life that was monumental or that signified a turning point for them, a moment which in some ways defined who they were or why they were who they were. This year, I’ve read some stories that make my heart break. Stories of drug addicted mothers, foster care, abusive fathers, and gang deaths. Stories of abandonment and a desperate need for love.

Sometimes I think I will have to read these essays over and over again when I want to get mad at my students for not being what I think they should be. Yes, they should try hard. Yes, they should keep getting back up when they fall and reach their goals. But lets face it, where are they going to learn that from? The home is the most important environment these kids have and most of them are broken. In the town I teach in, divorce is common; drug use, gang violence, poverty, alcoholism, child abuse, sexual activity, and illiteracy is a norm. And then to make that worse, they have all the radio stations and the movies teaching them that indulging in sex, drugs, violence, and greed for money is a normal and expected way to live and will fill their life with joy.

Meanwhile we have politicians, judges, and other American citizens pointing their fingers at the education system and screaming out that we are the ones who failed their children. Now I am not saying that our education system doesn’t need work. Believe me, this NCLB bologna is ridiculous and only leaving more kids behind but we could be amazing at what we do, and I still feel we’d have a problem. Why? Because how can I expect a 14-year-old teenager to pass his classes and his state exams at proficiency level when he lives in a home with 10 other people including his drunk father and his mother who works three jobs to support him and his best friend just died in a gang shooting, and he himself is being pressured by all the violence in his neighborhood to join a gang too so he can have protection and he can’t read very well because no one read to him when he was a child and meanwhile he wants money because all the music he listens to and movies he watches and commercials he zones in on tell him that money will give him everything he wants and right now school doesn’t seem like its going to work out for him, but selling drugs could give him some instant cash so…….

Do you understand what I am saying? No, not all of my kids are gang members, but many of them come from everything just short of that. I’ve got a 14 year old girl who is pregnant, another student who is living alone in a 1 bedroom room he rents while working 2 jobs and going to high school so he can live the American dream. I’ve got another student who is so proud right now because his mom has been clean from meth for 10 months and he thinks she finally kicked the habit so they can be a family again.

This is what our society has left for our grandchildren. I wasn’t here 50 years ago, but from what my parents tell me and my grandparents, this wasn’t the norm then. This wasn’t the problem with education then. So what is different?

I think greed and an overall indulging and condoning of immorality has corrupted this world in a way it hasn’t seen since Sodom and Gomorrah or the times of Noah.

So now what to do?

So many of my student’s writing is so poor despite my scaffolding, I will have to give them a D or an F on their essay, but what I really want to do is give them a big hug and tell them that despite what has happened to them, they are actually doing really well. And I will for many of them. I’ll give them their grade because I can’t fuel the system by just pushing these kids a long, but I will love them the whole time I set the standard high. And I will encourage and support them as they try to learn (or not) the skills I am instructed to teach them.

What else can I do?

It’s not just the education system that needs to be changed people. It is everything. Its turning off that song on the radio that glamorizes sex and drugs no matter how much we just like the beat because if we all did, the radio station would stop playing it and that would be that many fewer kids being indoctrinated to believe that way of life is normal and good. It’s about going to marriage counseling and being true to our vows to our husbands or wives even if we aren’t in love anymore because that is what marriage is about and that is what our kids need. It’s about teaching our kids to find joy in giving rather than just taking. It’s about going to the library if we can’t afford to buy books and checking out one bedtime book to read to our kids even if we really want to watch that lame reality TV show instead. It’s about teaching our kids that they can have some self-control and not have sex even if the world tells them they should. It’s about sacrificing our own selfish desires for the better of others. Can we do this? Honestly, I know of only one way we can all transform…..and you all know my stance on that. But it is a condition of the heart. And that condition is something I don’t think will change for better anytime soon.

So in the meantime, I will continue to love these kids. And hope and pray that we all survive the future that they will bring on this world when they become our next voters and leaders of this country.