Okay, its picture catchup time. I just posted the pics we have taken (lets be honest, mainly of Kanan) from the last two months. Check them out by clicking HERE, HERE, and HERE!

 Oh, and here is a video from Kanan’s birthday at Chuck E Cheeses. It shows Chucky and the waiters singing Happy Birthday to all the birthday kids that day (there were a few tables!). Kanan’s cousin Alyssa is the little girl dancing. Isn’t she a doll?

This always happens. Mike leaves on a trip, in this case Costa Rica, and the drama goes up. Kanan has been through some adventures this week. Last Friday, when I took Kanan into the doctor’s for his antibiotic-caused-thrush, I also pointed out that his left pointy finger looked red and swollen. She couldn’t figure out what the cause was, nor could I. She told me to keep an eye on it and if it looked worse to bring him back in. Well by Monday, the red mark looked darker, but Mike and I weren’t sure if it was darker because it was healing or if was getting worse. Still, Mike was super busy with getting ready to leave for Costa and I was super busy with work and night classes and coaching that I put it off because Kanan didn’t seem bothered by it. Well today, blisters formed on it. One week later? Does that make sense? By the time I saw this, it was too late to take Kanan to his pediatrician so I called my Doctor who runs an urgent care. When I described Kanan’s finger and the history behind it, he strongly suggested taking him to the emergency room as soon as possible. And so we did. My sister, Kanan, and I were eating IHOP pancakes when we were advised and we packed up and left for the emergency room. They can’t figure out what caused these symptoms. They think he burned his finger badly and that it developed a yeast infection on it from the antibiotic usage and the thrush. The blisters are dry so it is just the skin starting to pucker and fall off.

And last night, before my sister came over to babysit Kanan, so I could run off to a competition with my JV Academic League team, I was making dinner and turned my back on him for 20 seconds and then heard a cry and a crash—Kanan had climbed out of his pack-n-play and fell onto the kitchen floor hard–landing on his back and hitting his head. Luckily the floors are soft and he was fine after a few minutes of crying and then tasting some pasta.

 Thank God, Mike’s mother is down as of tomorrow to help me out while Mike is away. I’m afraid of what other adventures Kanan would put me through otherwise.

 On the positive note, Kanan was a hit in the emergency room. The crowd loved him. He was charming and adorable as he danced and pushed his stroller around and waved bye-bye to doctors passing by. We actually had a decent time and they pushed us through the fast lane so we were in and out in an hour and a half. Cost me 100 bucks though! Ah, the price for peace of mind.

Kanan has been on antibiotics for 20 days now because the first 10-day round didn’t get rid of his ear infection. So the doctor prescribed him another round, but stronger potency with a larger dosage. In effect, Kanan has thrush now. What is that? It is an over growth of yeast in the digestive system from all the healthy flora killed by the antibiotics. The yeast overgrowth begins to show in the mouth in the form of white patches all over the inside of the mouth. And it hurts. It somehow eats and the skin a bit and so eating and drinking become especially uncomfortable. Needless to say, Kanan has been quite fussy the last 3 days that he has had it. We got him some medicine (an anti-fungal mouthwash) that we give him 4 times a day. Thank goodness it is not really contagious. But it sure does make me feel like an unfit mother somehow. I keep thinking, if only I had cleaned his pacifier more often. Or If only I had given him extra acidophiles everyday. Or If only I had noticed sooner before it became painful. Kanan isn’t the only person who has been affected negatively by antibiotics. I know of a few people who have had intestinal or digestive problems for long periods of time after the use of antibiotics. I’m thankful we have them because they have saved many lives, but they sure do cause problems too and I don’t want to use them unless I absolutely have to.

He took his first steps last night even though he was miserably sick with an ear infection and flu.

 I know this looks staged, but it isn’t. I pulled out the video camera because he had just taken a couple of steps and of course, I wanted it on film. Right after I turned it on, Mikey came home without knowledge of what was happening. Earlier yesterday I was telling a colleague that I worried Kanan would take his first steps at day care and I would miss it. Well, Kanan was nice enough to save it for home. And we couldn’t be any more ecstatic!

Kanan is teething. He cut his third on last Sunday (on video) and his fourth three days later!

He is also babbling like crazy. He makes me laugh so much. Here he tries to say “bye” at the end of the video.

He is sooooo close to walking! I love his proud expression as he does it too. And his waddle is to adorable. Do I sound biased or partial? Nahhhhh

Kanan is officially 10 months on the 11th. I can’t believe I have to start thinking about planning his first birthday here soon! Well here are his stats:

Weight: 22.8 lbs

Height: ???

Teeth: 1

Personality: Kanan loves life and even has a sense of humor. He is very vocal and is actually starting to get really loud and talkative when he is happy. He is even louder and yells when he is upset or doesn’t get his way. Mike and I are working on trying to nip that in the bud, but at the same time, if he can’t express his feelings with language, what else can we expect?

Mobility: crawling better than I can….can get from one side of the house to the other in less than a minute. Can stand on his own without support for a few seconds up to a couple of minutes depending on the moment. Cruising lightly. Can wiggle his bottom and bop up and down when he likes the music playing.

Other physical skills: Can clap and hold his hands up so I can slap them in a mutual patty cake as well as high 5’s. He bang on his drums with drumsticks and has recently discovered gravity so his most recent favorite endeavor is droping everything on the floor.

Language:  He is babeling soo much and his phonemes sound like real bits of words. He can say Dada and Mama but he says Dada more. A couple of times he has actually said a word, but I’m not sure if it was just coincedence. He said “ditar” when he saw his guitar once. And he said “dud” once when he looked ate the dog. hmmmmm

Eating/Drinking: Kanan is eating so much now. He eats a lot of table food now and is practicing drinking his formula from a sippy cup with his breakfast and lunch.

Sleep: Kanan has eliminated his morning nap while he is at daycare. So Monday through Friday he takes a 1.5-2 hour nap a day and then crashes out around 7 and doesn’t make a peep until 7 the next morning. When I’m home, he naps twice still. I think he gets so excited when he is around his friends at daycare. He just doesn’t want to go to sleep.

As always Mike and I LOVE being parents. It is by far the best experience in the world. My favorite activity is spending time with my little family. Check out this last month’s pics HERE!

UPDATE AS OF JANUARY 12 (two days after this was posted)—Kanan just cut his second tooth this morning. 🙂

I’m calling congress today and tomorrow and reading this script plus the information where I give my name, city, district and phone number. If you value education or if you have children, I ask you to do the same. This script is mainly my own with a couple of phrases taken from a script that our teacher’s association wrote. I think mine is more powerful because it explains the logic as to why the proposal will hurt kids and why it is unscientific and ridiculous. You are more than welcome to use my script if you like, although it is written from a teacher’s perspective.

***

I’m asking you to vote NO on the current proposal by Representative George Miller and Speaker Nancy Pelosi to reauthorize the No Child Left Behind Act. I, along with other teachers support accountability, but only the accountability on factors we can control entirely. This reauthorization proposal makes a bad law even worse. Its one-size-fits-all approach is hurting students because it is based on the premise that children are robots not human beings. There are multiple factors that influence learning—yes, the teachers, but also students’ own natural intelligences, their emotional well beings, their family life and culture, their resources at home, their ability to do well under pressure, and their own social network at school. To expect all children to be proficient in all subject levels based solely on what is happening in their classroom is unrealistic and not even grounded on basic scientific fact—there is a natural bell curve that happens in societies in all areas, including intelligence and skills. How can a law affecting education, which teaches science, be based on such an unscientific belief? It is hypocritical and ridiculous. All this bill will do is hurt children because it does not work to solve the entire problem and also by making it harder to attract quality teachers into our public schools, thus further hurting our children. I expect that very few people would want to get into a profession in which test scores are the be-all-end-all determination of their livelihood. Teacher pay is already low enough. In the end, No Child Left Behind sounds wonderful, but it is a seriously flawed Act that doesn’t take into account the multiple influences that interconnect and play a vital role in the dynamics of learning.  Please support classroom teachers and the students they teach and vote No on the Miller-Pelosi NCLB Reauthorization proposal. Something needs to be done about our children, but this is not the answer.  If you have any questions or need further information, please call me at ………

I recieved this in a chain email the other day, but went on Snopes and located the real author (in the email it said it was Leno, and I just didn’t buy it because he is part of the media). He is Craig R. Smith. I’m not sure if all of his statistics are valid, but regardless he makes some amazing points about the attitude of Americans and the need for change. I agree entirely and it made me realize that I need to change my attitude sometimes too.  The article is also located at worldnetdaily.com too if you want to check it out. Otherwise, here it is cut and pasted with no alterations.

 Made in the USA: Spoiled brats

I just finished this book I bought at the grocery store entitled, “Happiness Sold Seperately.” I thought it would be an easy read, but good because on the back, the reviews describe the fiction story as sympathetic toward all its characters and it was about a number of interesting themes—infertility, a broken marriage, and infidelity.To see how a writer could write about those themes and yet make the reader sympathetic toward all the characters piqued my interest and so I bought it. It took me two days to finish the 294 page novel and I am so hapy I picked it up. But one thing has been driving me crazy. The author leaves the reader hanging. We know what is going to happen next, but how will it happen? To some that might not be important. But the writer in me finds a deep appreciation for the how. And so, because I couldn’t simply hope for how it would end if this story were true, I just had to write my own ending. The way I would hope it would. The way it does in my mind.

The Ending

Before she grabs her keys to head out the door, Elinor does one last thing. She calls Gina at the gym.

***

As Gina drives back home with Toby in the passenger seat, she is quiet in thought. Should she really trust Elinor’s plan? Elinor told her to show up at the hospital around 8pm and to bring Toby. She said that she knows that Ted is in love with her and that after the accident, she realized that he deserves to be happy. That try as they may, they were not happy. They once were, but they “flooded only the surface and didn’t get to the roots” or something like that. She said she was filing for a divorce and she is happy that Ted found someone that appreciates him. He is such a loyal man.

But what if she is wrong? What if Ted really isn’t in love with her and he really wants to stay with Elinor? Sure he called her “Angel” at the hospital, but he was drugged up. He could have thought she were Elinor for all she knew. But that look in his eyes. The same look he gave her when they made love. With that deep, free, child-like peace in his eyes.

But what about Toby? She can’t let her son hurt any longer. He loved Ted so much. Just like her. Both heartbroken. What if Elinor changes her mind in two weeks and then Ted’s loyalty brings him to break up with her and her son once more? What if, what if, what if? But Elinor had a vindication in her voice that seemed rooted deep. And she didn’t even seem angry or overly emotional at all. There was a peace in her voice when she called her. A peace that made her believe her enough to grab Toby from the café and leave her client during his push up session.

She will wear the sarong wrap skirt when she goes to see him. He loves that skirt. Lets just hope he really loves her. Excitement floods her veins and she looks at her son who smiles for the first time in weeks.

           “Can I call Dr. Mackey Dad?” Toby asks, looking out the window.

           “Hopefully one day, Toby. But lets just stick to Ted first, okay?”

***

Ted laughed with Elinor as she read the Dave Barry essays at his bedside in the hospital. But there was a sadness in his eyes and in his breath that made Elinor even more positive that she was making the right decision. He would stay with her, yes. He would adopt with her, yes. All because he made those vows and he is truly sorry he broke them and would do anything to not hurt her again, forgetting that she was already hurt. But all the while he will be suffering inside. He will never be truly happy with her and deep down she knows, she will never be truly happy with him. On the surface, they would look fine. Like the old oak in her yard, large and seemingly strong, but dying inside. Rotten from the inside out with disease that would slowly get to the surface. He has spent the last 5 years trying to make her happy and she never was. Yes, it was time she made him happy. To let him go. To let this all go. The infertility, the affair, the hypothetical them. It was time.

            “Ted, I love you,” Elinor said sternly, interrupting the silence that followed their laughter, “ And I know you love me, but I know you are not in love with me anymore.”

            “What? El, I love you. I have always loved you.”

            “You love me, yes. But you are not in love with me. You once were, before all of this childless grief changed me. Before it turned me into this bitter woman. And perhaps you are still in love with the woman I once was. But I’m not her anymore. And I’m not bitter anymore. I’m okay with all of this. I forgive you. I forgive myself.”

Ted lay on his hospital bed silently. A content, but questioning smile on his face and sadness still in his eyes.

           “I know you would stay with me to the end to make me happy. That you would sacrifice your own happiness for me. But I’m not going to let you. You love Gina. She loves you. It was so obvious when I saw you look at her after you woke up from your sedated dream and didn’t know I was there. And the truth is, I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy.”

           “What are you saying El?”

           “I’m going through with the divorce papers, Ted. And I want you to be with Gina.”

He breathes in deep, his blue hospital gown tightening against his expanding chest as he takes his air in and thinks about what she just said.“We could have been really happy, right El? I mean, if none of this infertility ever happened?”

           “And we once were Ted. So let’s just cherish and remember that. I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to be bitter anymore. I will always love what we once were and what we could have been, but isn’t it time we both just let that go and stop trying to fake it anymore?”

Ted nods his head with tears glossing his green eyes and wipes the tear falling down her right cheek.They share another silence, both absorbing the powerful moment and the relief that comes with letting go. 

          “I’ll be back tomorrow to say hello and bring the papers, ” Elinor says at last, kissing Ted on the cheek.  In the meantime, someone is here to see you.”

Gina and Toby were standing in the doorway and Elinor watches Ted turn his head toward the door and see them. A peaceful look returns to his eyes and pink warms his gray cheeks. Elinor gets up and walks out of the room, looking both Toby and Gina in the eyes, with a content ‘he’s yours’ look. As she walks down the hallway, she hears laughing and the warm chirp of lips kissing from his room.

          “God, did I miss you two.” She hears him say.

A tornado of emotions fill her—happiness and sadness twisting round and round inside. At last, she thinks. Something other than bitter.