RIP Ryan Gaxiola

At the age of 28, I never plan for people my age to die anytime soon. Regardless, it does happen, and yet it still is surprising. I’ve known my friend Ryan since I moved to Alta Loma in the 6th grade and he teased me on the bus for my leggings because he thought they looked like long underwear. He was my bestfriend’s first love and my first love’s best friend. We had our good moments and even had falling outs. Yet we remained friends as we grew up even though we didn’t spend time together as much after high school. I went to his beautiful wedding in 2002 and watched his marriage to his high school sweetheart. Mike and I double dated with them a couple of times before they moved to Wisconsin in 2006. And we talked once more a few months ago over the phone. He was very happy in his life and I felt joyful with him.

I do not know how he died last Saturday, and will hopefully find out tomorrow. But no matter how, it is a tragedy. He was 28. He was newly married. He had just moved to Wisconsin to start his happy life with his wife. And now he is dead. It just isn’t fair.

I will go to the memorial this Saturday and cry with his father Frank, mother Elane, sister Janelle, and his wife Jenny. I don’t feel sorry for myself but rather weep for his poor family. As a mother, I can imagine what Elane must be feeling to see her son go before she did. As a sister, I can imagine what his big sister Janelle must be feeling to say good bye to her baby brother. And even though I am not a wife, I know what it is like to be madly in love. And to lose the man Jenny has devoted her life to….well, I pray that she stay strong. And I also weep for his son Grant, who is about twelve years old now and already has lost his father.

Ryan will be loved and missed by many. He was always a kid and a goofball. Someone who knew how to live and brought smiles to the faces of all who knew him. And his untimely death will always remind me to let all who I love know I love them everyday—and to stop putting things off until tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come. Life just works that way whether or not we understand why, right?

Rest in peace my friend. May your life and death teach us all how to live.


14 thoughts on “RIP Ryan Gaxiola

  1. im not sure if weve ever met but my name is joyce. im ryans sister inlaw. thank you for your beautiful words. ryan was a wonderful person and he will b greatly missed


  2. I met Ryan while he was working in La Verne at Al & Ed’s. He always would tell me my car was “a 5 pound car with 10 pounds of stuff in it”. I will always remember him as a creative person with a fun personality. I helped him surprise Jenny with a kiddie pool on the front porch of their house in Upland. I will miss him greatly and my thoughts and prayers are with his wife, family, and friends.


  3. Wow. People actually venting over his death? This guy wasn’t who you think he was. Trust me. He was involved in low level crimes no one knew of. I personally do not care and have no sympathy for him. Never forget what people do before they pass. It will haunt them all the way to there graves. He was an “Alta Loma Boy”. They talk the talk, but never walk the walk.


  4. To the “Mr. Mehoff” whose perverted pseudonym shows just how angry and cynical he is and how desperately he is need of a savior to heal him of his anger, let me rebutt your comment with a few words. You may not read this, but there will be others who do read your comment and will hopefully read mine and learn a bit from your mistakes. I knew Ryan enough to know he got into trouble and got a way with a lot of stuff in his younger days that he probably shouldn’t have—but to look up his name through a search engine, find a blog written with much sympathy toward his family and him over his passing, and to write such terribly mean and careless words makes me think you might care more than you think you do although your care may be more the flip side of sympathy, it is still emotionally driven. I feel sorry for you that you carry such anger in your heart that you don’t have sympathy for others. I’m sure you have done much wrong in your life as well just like the rest of us. Just because it may not necessarily be illegal in our land doesn’t mean you haven’t done things that are againstthe laws of your creator and the very God who would forgive you if you only asked and believed that he would. No matter what Ryan had done in his life, he was loved by many. And he as well as his family deserve much sympathy. Your arrogance, anger, and judgment will only come back around to destroy you as well. Be careful of what you say lest the prosecutor at the end of days use the same tactics to convict you and you find yourself without a defense attorney who knew you enough to set you free.


    • Well said Theresa, God Bless and sorry to hear about Ryan. I just found out. His family are in my prayers……………Marcus Ortiz


  5. To Jack. This is Gilday. You’re weak and pathetic. Hiding behind a fake name. I was one of Ryan’s closest friends and know better than anyone what we were and were not involved in. Who the hell are you to judge? More importantly, who gives a damn what you think. If this is so important to you that you would search this blog and leave that message, then show your face. Don’t hide behind a fake name. Be man. You obviously have no idea what kind of a person Ryan really was. Now you know who I am and hopefully you will read this and understand that you have just been called out. Bitch!


  6. Gilday? Gilday? Lol. Your a even bigger Joke. Your the kid we picked on too! Listen chump, you know who I am. You know I’m looking for you. You know your post was worhtless and your scared out your brain of me. I’m haunting you as we speak. Your all the same. You proved my earlier post about talking the talk. Your a bitch. You’ve always been a bitch. Alta loma is full of little bitches like yourself. Did I offend you with my comments of your buddy? Awww did it upset you? You did what I wanted you to do. That was to reacte. I caused a reaction from you. You dumb Alta loma boys don’t get it huh? I own that town and I’ve never lived there. Fuck you. Do something. Make a move. You know who I am. Bitch.


    • Jack. My name is Robert Rouhana. I worked with Ryan and spoke at his funeral. He was a good dude making good on his second chance. Your comments are extremely disrespectful. You need some act right. Search me on FB, PM me and we can meet up to discuss it.


  7. Theresa, do you have any idea where Ryan is buried. If here in California, I’d like to pay him a visit. I’d be grateful for any info. Thanks for this post.


  8. Robert, thanks for writing. I don’t know where Ryan is buried, but I can find out for you. Will write back soon. Find me on facebook and I’ll let you know so it is not posted here in public comments. We don’t need people like Mr. JackmeHoff going over there and vandalizing his tombstone.


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