One of Theresa’s Favorite Bible Verses

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe every tear from our eyes. And there will be no more death, sadness, crying, or pain because all of the old ways will be gone.

Thank you Jesus! When I read this, I remember why you came. You came to give us the truth. You have saved those of us who put our trust and love in you, our Lord. And you will come back and restore this fallen world to the beautiful perfection it once was. And you will dwell with us, your children who love you.

This is what will get me through this miscarriage. And I pray that this give any other readers who are suffering,Β  a glimpse of your love and grow a thankful, believing heart.

–Theresa

Something is in the Water

I have four friends who are all about 2 months pregnant! September will be the month for babies this year and I am so excited! Owen and I have had an itch for a baby ourselves lately, but figure God opens and closes wombs so he’ll be the one to decide on that. Even though we are not really trying, we are having a great time practicing and not really not trying, haha! In the meantime, I have four cute little tummies I get to rub over the next 7 months: My friend Kelley, my friend Sarah, my friend Lisa, and my future sister-in-law Meagan! I can’t wait to buy little pink headbands and dresses and tights for the girls and cute blue jeans and fun sneakers for the boys. I can’t wait to smell baby powdered skin and breast-milk burps. I can’t wait to feel their little fuzzy heads, and wrap them up in swaddles and hold them when they sleep. Yep, I’m a sucker for babies. And I’m so happy for the mommy friends and sister-in-law. πŸ™‚

Pssst….Can I Tell You a Secret?

I’m really not happy with teaching English anymore. I’m not sure what the deal is or what to do about or whether I should do anything about it. The novelty has worn off. My interests have changed. At this point, I don’t care so much if a person knows the difference between direct characterization and indirect characterization as much as I care about them knowing about Jesus. About caring as to whether or not teen girls are feeling pressured too early to be having sex or become women. I care more about the moral relativism of our youth and world and what we can do to make a difference. I still love teens. I still care about their welfare. But don’t care about writing that novel I always dreamed of. I don’t even care about writing my memoirs. None of that matters. I want to change lives in profound ways. I want to write books about real issues from which real women are suffering. I want to show them a real answer in Christ in a way that makes sense to them and through a medium to which they will pay attention. And with the current economic effects on the stability and security of my job, it just doesn’t seem worth it when I don’t have the same heart I once did.

So what to do? It has only been since the baby boomers that we have had this notion to believe our job should be doing something we love. There are plenty of people who have jobs much less fulfilling than mine and yet they still find joy in their lives. They still find ways to be fulfilled in their impact on the world. Does mine have to be my job? Can’t I just do my job and then find joy and satisfaction in the other areas of my life? Or should I try to change professions? At the same time, my husband is the one who is going to school now and working on a course toward a new career. Shouldn’t I stick with this to give some stability? Is there stability if I don’t even know if I’ll have a teaching job come June?

I need thoughts. I need advice. I need prayer. I need to have a glimpse of an idea of where God wants me. And if he wants me teaching English in public school then so be it–I just need Him to change my perspective on it so I can find joy in it again. And if he doesn’t want me doing this anymore, please pray that I have the vision to see the doors he is opening, the courage to take risks and be willing to suffer a bit if needed to get through the paths that will lead me through those doors if that is what needs to happen.

In the end, I need to trust that regardless of any of this–God is in control. God is taking care of me.

Teaching Unmotivated Students

Since I started teaching at a new high school this year, I have experienced many great changes, yet also some new challenges. As a problem solver, I have worked hard on trying to come up with ways that I can change in order to reach the needs of my students. With those changes, some things have improved and some have not. This Monday, I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the most ironic and coincidentally textbook situations arise in my classroom. My teacher friends will laugh at this. As for the rest of you, I hope you do as well.

So in my English Language Development class, I have twenty-four mostly Mexican immigrant students all learning academic English, so they can get fully mainstreamed into regular public school classrooms. This class has been the most difficult class I have ever taught. Not because it is ELD. I have been teaching ELD for six years. It is just this particular group of kids. Maybe it is a sign of the different dynamics and culture of language learners in Temecula versus Oceanside. Maybe it is just a bad year. But nonetheless, the classroom management issues I have had this year with this class have baffled me.

For the last five years, my usual classroom management strategy has worked well— having students come in everyday with ten points for their Behavior/Participation grade, and losing those points throughout the day when they are not behaving or participating accordingly. This was not working with this class. So I added a positive reinforcement element: they earn raffle tickets when they are working diligently and on task. Classroom management much improved with this strategy albeit two students. Hurray for me, right?

I spent thirty dollars on prizes and we held our raffle on Monday. Students take out their collection of raffle tickets they earned and when they hear their number called, they come up and pick a prize. Now most of the prizes were items I picked up at The Dollar Tree— a pack of pencils, a bag of Hot Cheetos, a thesaurus, etc. But I decided to have two grand prizes to really motivate them and told them this when I started the strategy twelve weeks ago. If three of their raffle tickets were called, they would win a grand prize: a ten dollar gift certificate to iTunes. I had two such grand prizes. In my mind, the students who worked diligently more often would collect more raffle tickets and thus, increase the likelihood that their numbers would be called more than once. It doesn’t take a math major to figure that out. Well my two students who did not alter their behavior in my class probably collected a total of five tickets each the entire semester, while other students like Phat or Jorge collected twenty or more. But who, oh who were the ones who had three of their numbers called? Oh no, not just one of these misfits, but BOTH! BOTH of them! What????

I am still baffled. And what was I supposed to do? Tell them no, they couldn’t get the grand prize because I didn’t feel they deserved it? They did earn those tickets. There were few times, but they did work a few times diligently, and I wanted to give them those tickets to motivate them to work more.

I could see the faces of the other students in the class pale as these boys walked up with smug expressions and took their prizes from my hands. I felt so determined to have one hard-worker reap the benefits that I took my ten-dollar gift card to Starbucks in my wallet, a gift given to me for Christmas from a student’s parent, and of which I had not yet spent, and placed it firmly on the table. I told the class it was one last prize to win if they had three numbers called. Thank God, Alex’s number was called–A great kid who works hard even when his skills are lacking. I never felt so happy to give away a much desired present of my own.

But what are the odds, right? I even told them it was the most ironic event I have ever seen in my classroom and told them they were very lucky.

Then the same day—my coincidental, text-book event happened, but to such an extreme, I had to laugh. Fifth period comes, and I had changed the seating arrangement of the class so told the students to come in and just sit where ever they wanted until I showed them where I had planned for them to sit. Their bell work that afternoon was to preview their semester 1 grade and then reflect on that grade in their journals. I had a number of questions to get them reflecting and goal setting. As they worked on this assignment, I took my stack of letters to the parents of students who failed and began to search for the faces that matched the names. I had to take a double look because I found that every single one of those students who failed first semester were sitting in the back row of the class all together in a group.

I remember in college, I sat down in my Counseling 101 class in the front row. The teacher walked in and looked at all of us. She pointed to the back row of students and told the class that the students in the back row were probably the students who were either going to drop out of the course or fail. She said it was a statistical fact that the personality types of students who sit in the back rows of classes are the same personality types of students who do not perform well enough to succeed in classroom education. Pretty harsh, I thought, but maybe it was true.

Over the years I have seen students who failed my classes choose the back row. But never, never have had every one of them. Amazing. They didn’t know they had received the “F” (although they probably subconsciously knew) and I had not told them to sit there. I never had it in my mind that they would fail—I assume the best in all of my students. And yet, there sat eight ninth graders slumped in the back row of my class, with white sheets of paper and black typed-ink addressed to their parents, laying on their desks. Funny thing is, I don’t think most of them looked around and noticed that all of their friends and neighbors had the same thing on his or her desks. But I did see that many students in the rows ahead, turned their heads this way and that to see who did get the letters, and found the same coincidence.

At that moment I looked at seating chart, and made sure that those eight kids were spread around the classroom. Front row to back row, east side and west side. I am determined to change them. I will not let them feed off of each other. Instead, I hope to give them no other choice, but to succeed.

My Post-Wedding Bridal Shower!

232323232fp63237_nu=32_8_8_2_739_WSNRCG=336;3_;64;32_nu0mrjLast Saturday was just wonderful! I showed up to my friend Kelley’s beach house in Oceanside right after I finished supervising the SAT’s and before anyone else was there. This was perfect because I was able to greet everyone who came in and have a couple of minutes to chit-chat with most of them. Kelley’s set up was darling! There were tables set up with appetizers like cheese and crackers, pumpkin bread, and cupcakes, and a veggie platter. There was big glass container of refreshing cucumber, lemon water. And there sat lots of wine. My friend Sheryl brought stuff to make martinis too. Continue reading