Happy New Year 2009!

Posted in personal stuff by

sdc11399Happy New Year everyone! I know the news in the world makes 2009 seem pretty glum, but I’ve got a good feeling about this one! I really do. I pray that everyone of you are blessed this year despite any subconcious fears about our jobs or houses or debt.  I know that may be easier said than done, but there is something to thinking positive and so I’m sticking with it, and you should too. :) And I am further stoked to have looked back at my New Years Resolutions from last year and find that I succeeded in reaching half of them! That is a first! So, Since I’m on the upswing here, here is the list for 2009. So now that you know them, you all better call me on it when I am not following through. I need reinforcement! :)

Bad Habits To Stop:

1. Worrying so much (this has gotten much better since I’ve received so much peace knowing God is in charge, but I still have not kicked it entirely because I’m still wrestling with him for control sometimes :P)

2. Sleeping on my stomach ( I got out of the habit when I was pregnant, but this month started at it again).

Things I Would Like to Accomplish This Year:

1. Improve my painting skills (I’ve moved beyond pastel, and am venturing into acrylic and oil paints!)

2. Take a yoga class atleast once a week

3. Take Kanan on at least one vacation

4. Resolve my love life or at least become content with my lack thereof

5. Continue to work in the drama ministry through my church

6. Pay off my car loan

7. Find an effective but loving way of disciplining Kanan and of course to continue to teach him good things!

Spiritual Goals for the Year:

1. Read the entire bible this year (I have a “one year bible” and am starting today! I read the entire new testament last year and a few books from the old testament, but this time I want to do it all! 🙂 )

2. Allow the Holy Spirit to use me to help someone come to Christ.

3. Grow closer to God

Quick–How Many Christmas Parties Does it Take to Tire Theresa?

Posted in Early parenting years by

december-2008-008Since my family is not only large but also seemed to to do Christmas separately this year, it took me a while to be able to make this post. At first I was very upset about it, but it worked out and it just made Christmas feel more like Hanukkah instead, which does have its perks. We didn’t have just one Christmas….we had like five! So it took about a week to get through all of my Christmas-get-togethers and boy am I tired!

Our Christmas adventures started last weekend when Kanan and I went to my Aunt Kathleen and Uncle Bernie’s house out in Newport Beach. Some of my dad’s family was there and while we didn’t exchange gifts, we used that time to just talk and eat and enjoy the time together. I hadn’t seen my cousins Jennifer and Christopher in over a year so it was a real blessing to see them. Kanan loved playing with his third cousin Noah and eating chocolate and refusing to take a nap. He didn’t get to bed that night until late, but he was super happy.

Then on Tuesday, Kanan and I packed up my car and headed up to december-2008-042Upland where we spent the afternoon and evening at my old friend Lisa’s house. We exchanged gifts for the kids and the Kanan had a wonderful time playing with his buddy Nolan. They shared trucks, played chase, watched cartoons, went shopping at the local mall, ate dinner together, and took a bath together before going to bed. What a joy it was to be with my friend Lisa with whom I’ve been friends for 15 years and see our children growing together.

Kanan and I stayed through the next morning, Christmas Eve, and then left at 1130 to head out and make a quick visit to my other old friend’s house—Bekah. Bekah and I have known each other since 6th grade and now her children Alex and Cole are friends with my son. Kanan and Alex played and exchanged gifts as well, and we ate a quick lunch with them before all the boys needed to take a nap.

Kanan and I headed back to Upland and went to my Grandparents house to take a nap and prepare for Christmas with the Colombian side of the family. I attempted to make it to a Christmas Eve church service at my mother’s old church Water of Life, but they didn’t have child care available december-2008-0011for the 3 o’clock service. The ushers told me not to worry–that they were going to have a puppet show and that kids were welcome. Well, apparently none of us were ready for Kanan’s plans although I had an in-cling of suspicion. He was okay through the worship part but then started wanting to run down the aisles and climb up on chairs and throw his toys over the backsides of chairs or shout out hello to nearby Christians. I gave him a cereal bar which appeased him for about 3 seconds, but thankfully the puppet show started. I thought for sure, this would entertain him. They wanted all the children to come up on the stage and listen to this monkeyish puppet teach the children about the true meaning of Christmas. All the kids from 3 months old to 5 years old stared quietly, in awe of the little hairy animal telling his tale. That is every child BUT mine. Kanan was more interested in the kids around him and in jumping down the steps of the stage. He then attempted again to run down the front aisle, but thankfully a nearby saint grabbed him for me. At this point I gave up, went back to my seat, grabbed my purse and told my mom we were leaving. She smiled understandably. So I took Kanan in his dressy Christmas outfit out i3144739785_46343ccc11nto the playground where he played a bit before discovering a muddy rain puddle. That was the end of his handsome Christmas getup. I was so done. I carried him out to the car, drove through a local Starbucks for a Espresso Truffle for me and a Vanilla Steamer for him and we went back to Grandma and Grandpas

The afternoon was filled with family coming in, delicious food including bacon wrapped prunes ( I know, crazy, but amazing!) cookies, and other sweets. I don’t give Kanan sugar at all and so made the naive mistake of thinking one special occasion wouldn’t hurt. Yeah right, my child turned into a crazy kid! He was running around non-stop, rebelling, rolling around on the ground. He passed out in the car on the hour and a half drive back home, slept through the night and woke up on Christmas morning a total grump! Don’t give your children sugar! It is poison! 🙂

christmas-2008-001Christmas was otherwise good. We had a small get-together at my dad’s house where I currently live. My mom and her boyfriend came over (yes, my parents are friends) and my step mom Linda’s best friend came over with her boyfriend. We enjoyed opening gifts, eating an amazing brunch that Linda cooked up, and then after Kanan’s nap, we headed out to my sisters to do a Christmas dinner with her and her family. Barbie’s boyfriend Paul made an incredible prime rib roast and Kanan finally cheered up although it took the whole day before he was somewhat normal and recovered from the previous day’s sugar. We played Catchphrase, exchanged gifts, laughed, and talked. Kanan thought my mom’s toes were candy and tried to nibble them and later pointed at his rear-end and said “butt” so that was in deed a highlight to our Christmas evening. Unfortunately her kids were not there because this Christmas was their year to spend with Dad.

christmas-2008-008So Christmas continued on through yesterday, when Barbie came over with her daughter Harley so Harley could open her Christmas gifts. We had another delicious dinner with Honey Glazed Ham and Au Gratin Potatoes. My Grandmother Lois came as well because she spent Christmas with my cousin Breanna in Palm Desert. Harley and Kanan played with each other because Mike stopped by for a bit so Kanan could see his favorite cousin. Kanan left on Friday to be with his dad and have their own little Christmas on Saturday morning with Mike’s family who drove down from Santa Barbara.

Gah! So here I am now. My biggest regret is not getting any large pictures of everyone together. For more pictures of other family and friends moments in my grand Christmas party race, check out the Flickr thumbnails on the side bar. But I digress…..My final point comes now: Tired? Yes. Blessed? Indeed. Waiting on the New Year? You bet! I’ve got plenty of excitement and hope for 2009 and will be posting a New Year blog here soon. I hope everyone’s Christmas was Merry indeed.

It’s Raining, it’s Pouring: how to make Colombian hot chocolate

Posted in memoirs, Recipes by

200236712-001My son this morning stared in awe at the wonder before his eyes. Water was falling from the sky and Kanan wanted to know what the heck was going on. His little mouth fell open and he kept pointing out of the car and saying “whats that?” He also did not like my windshield wipers going back and forth until I started moving my right arm in the same motions and saying “wipe” everytime it sprung back to position. He laughed and laughed.

I love the rain. It makes me think of childhood. Here is a link to a little story I wrote a couple of years ago about rain and childhood. I hope you enjoy. 🙂

Oh and after reading the story, and you would like to make this lovely chocolate beverage here is a simple recipe.

Colombian Hot Chocolate

  1. break up 1 block of colombian chocolate (70% cocao)
  2. bring desired amount of milk to a boil (how manycups of chocolate you want will be dependent on the ounces of milk).
  3. Add chocolate chunks into milk
  4. add desired amount of sugar
  5. whisk with a molinillo (a wooden whisker specifically for chocolate)
  6. simmer until melted, whisking as you go
  7. pour into a mug
  8. add one chunk of queso blanco into the center of your hot chocolate and let melt
  9. enjoy!

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How To Make Colombian Hot Chocolate

I sit here on this rainy afternoon, smelling the wet cement outside my classroom door, looking down at my hot chocolate sitting in my coffee mug. I take a sip and feel the sugar crystals melting in my mouth and a mild nostalgia takes over me-bittersweet. I am reminded of my youth in San Bernardino County. It was during the year it rained and rained and rained. So many kids hated the rain. But rain always reminds me of my mother’s Colombian hot chocolate-of my brother and sister. Of an innocence and glee for life, which has begun to crust and separate now- like cheap hot chocolate after it sits too long-how I yearn for the chocolate of my youth again.

My mother got huge blocks of Colombian Chocolate from her mother every time she went back home to Bogota to visit our family. Family I have never met and hope to know one day. She took out the block and put it on a cutting board and broke it with a kitchen hammer. Then she poured the bittersweet chunks into a big pot with sugar and milk and boiled it until the chocolate melted and then simmered it for a long time, whisking it with this giant wooden whisker she called a molinillo, letting the happy chemicals in the chocolate saturate the milk. To pass the time, she sent my brother, sister and I outside, bundled up in winter clothes to go play in the rain. We ran around wildly, taking our umbrellas not for protection, but to use as buckets as we filled them up with rain-water flowing down from the drain pipe off our roof and then laughed as we dumped it over our heads. We soaked ourselves clear though our long johns and gleefully shivered. We jumped in the puddles that formed in the streets, laid on our bellies and dared each other to lick the rain off the cement driveway. We played hide and go seek, and between games tilted our heads back, tongues completely out, tasting the semi-sweet, earthy flavor of the sky.

After about 45 minutes, the cold would no longer feel good and my mother knew this, prepared and all. She called out our names and opened up the garage, still warm from the heat of the washer and dryer. She pulled out fresh clothes for us, hot and smelling of Mountain Fresh scented drier sheets. We undressed and changed right there, giggling and telling our mother of our adventures so quickly, I’m surprised she could even make out our words. Then she opened the door leading into the house and handed each of us each a steaming cup of Colombian hot chocolate with at a drop of queso blanco floating in the center. We smelled the sweet aroma, carefully walked to the living room, taking short steps which barely lifted our feet from the carpet, so as not to spill the chocolate. There in the living room awaited a blazing fire in the fireplace, the smell of the burning wood, mixed with the steam of the chocolate, and I sunk easily into the moment-comfort’s womb. The three of us sipped our hot chocolates in silence, and with chocolate mustaches and peace in our eyes, took out our coloring books, and colored right on the brick step of the fireplace. My mother sat on the couch, watching us in silence as well, a satisfied smile on her face. I remember glancing back at her and watching her sip her chocolate drink long and slowly, closing her eyes. I like to imagine, it was in that very moment she was dreaming of her childhood in Los Angeles and the family adventures in Bogota, Colombia-the country where she grew to understand love and family-and where she would gain the wisdom to teach us these things.

My mother doesn’t get Colombian blocks of chocolate anymore. But when I finally get to visit for the first time that country of my blood, I will buy enough to last my lifetime.

Another Year Older and Still Thankful

Posted in personal stuff by

3079249804_171b5d6e22Thanksgiving and my birthday always seem to go together in association. Every couple of years my birthday will even land on Thanksgiving. This year, however, it landed on black Friday. Still–when I think of my birthday, because its so close to Thanksgiving, I think about the past year of my life, the good and the bad. Then I give my thanks for the good and think about how to make light of the bad.

So as of now, I have lived 29 years and I must say, this year it finally shows. Sure, I have been plucking the three white hairs I have from my crown the last few years, but this year, something extra special has happened. Yes—on birthday I did not get carded. I ordered a glass of wine at PF Changs with my mother, my friend Lael, and my brother and his girlfriend. I did not say it was my 29th birthday. The bartender wanted everyone’s ID’s but mine and my mother’s. I laughed…it happens, right? Then on Saturday, when I had my big birthday dinner with all my beloved friends and family—I did not get carded. Nor did I get carded afterward when a small group of us went out for cheese and wine. And then on Sunday when I went grocery shopping–I bought a bottle of wine for when my friend Bethany comes over for dinner—and they did not card me then either. One time here and there can be a fluke. But four times in a row?—well that is two things. One–I officially look old enough to not get carded. And two—I drank too much this last weekend. Both of these things I am not used to. One I will have to get used to. And the latter will go back to normal now that my birthday weekend is over. Who knows—maybe the fact that in the last year, I’ve recovered from my dogs being malled half to death, Kanan’s back-to-back ear infections, moving out of the barrio, moving out of the beach house in the rain on the coldest weekend in December, separating from Mike, moving out of his house, moving in with my sister, practicing being a single working mom, moving out of my sister’s house, and moving in with my folks, and now continuing to mother and work and be alone. Yeah, I think that might add a couple of wrinkles to one’s eyes, a prominent frown line, and somehow through it all—a permanent laugh line on the right side of my mouth. (wink wink…..but not too much! Don’t want to make the fourth crow’s foot show! 😀 ) But that was the negative—and there is still much to be thankful for.

1. My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who wooed me back into his loving arms and has since blessed me soooo much! He answers so many of my prayers and lets me know when I need to wait on others. Who also continues to convict me of my daily wrongs and shows me how to change and be more like him.

2. My loving family who gives me strength and encouragement.

3. My amazing son who has taught me how to love with Jesus’s agape love he asks of us.

4. My wonderful friends who love me for who I am.

5. My two newest friends Lael Lloyd and Kelly Cook—both answers to my prayers.

6. The opportunity to pay off my debt and save money for my own place while living with my folks temporarily.

7. The opportunity to have my Grandmother Lois now live so close;  I now have a weekly date with her on Thursdays. So awesome!

8. My job—during such a terrible time in the economy, I could easily be one of the many who have lost their jobs, but by God’s grace, I am still working.

9. Gas prices dropping! Yipeee!

10. The time to be able to write, paint, and now act again—something I’ve been wanting to do again for years! My church performs “Christmas Cliche” in a couple of weeks. I am so excited and thankful to be in such a powerful and fun play.

Alright 30, I can handle you. Give me your worst or your best. I’ll make the most of it!

A Questionnaire Analyzing Heterosexuality

Posted in my thoughts, Religion/Christianity/Philosophy by

http://worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=82529

A Questionnaire discussed in the above article was presented to a Group of High School Students. The obvious bias of the person writing the questions is clear. It is obvious the writer wants to get a discussion going and point out that homosexuality is no different than heterosexuality, and I notice and understand the point, but hope my answers shed some light on the misconceptions that many homosexuals AND heterosexuals have about morality and mankind. Continue reading →

An “A” for Love

Posted in personal stuff by

romeojuliet1One of my students, Jonathan, didn’t come to school yesterday because he left in search of his girlfriend who moved to Tijuana overnight without a call or a note or goodbye. He has not heard from her in weeks and in desperation fled to roam the streets of a city as large as Los Angelas to find a 17-year-old girl with whom he madly loves. When it was his turn today to practice his English by sharing a story with the class, he said he wasn’t prepared. I told him to tell us the story of what happend yesterday. In my ignorance I assumed he could share without it hurting—who knows maybe he even found her. But when he lifted up his head and his brown eyes sagged and brimmed with tears, I knew I was a rotten, careless woman. He said he couldn’t find her and asked if I could let him pass. I felt so terrible for him. So sad for his loss. I know that despite his young age–he loved this girl more than anything. She was his love of his life. And she was gone. And he may never see or talk to her again. And I just cheapened it by asking so carelessly for him to share—as if it were just a story and not his life, bleeding from his veins. In my regret, I apologized to him in front of the class. And I told him that because I believed in love, I would not only let him pass, but excused him from the assignment altogether without a negative effect to his grade.

To see a shy, 17-year-old boy flee the country in search of his love. To see him come back defeated and hopeless. To see a 17-year-old boy cry in front of an entire class of peers. It breaks my heart. I do not know what to tell him. Did she not tell him because she didn’t love him anymore either? Or did she not tell him because her parents moved her to get away from him? Regardless, I know he hurts. And our whole class hurts for him. She was not only his girlfriend, but my student, and their classmate. A girl we had all grown to love over the last year and half as this group of teenagers started in ELD 1 last year fresh out of their countries and now in their second year of English language development. Jonathan had been with her for almost that entire time. I remember when he came into my classroom the beginning of last year, asking if he could use my computer to type up a love note to Pricilla asking her to be his girlfriend. The next day I caught them whispering and laughing and holding eachother in the hallway. Apparently, his note worked. They had been together ever since.  

 Somehow, the young romantic in me hopes he finds her and they run away together and get married and live happily ever after. But if not, I hope he heals. That he lets his heart love again. He is a sweet and attractive young man. He will not have a problem with moving on if he lets himself do so. But between now and then, I feel for him. We all do.

I’ll be 29 years old in about a week. And apparently, my scarred heart has not given up hope on love either. Sometimes I think I have become jaded, but it is stories like this that make me know, we do heal. We heal and we move on, and life continues to surprise us. So many times in my life, my heart has shattered to the point I never thought I could put back the pieces. But with time, it has. Sure my heart is not the heart of a 17-year-old anymore, but it hasn’t lost its ability to love. We need love to live. Similarly—the heart is a strong muscle—and its very instinct and purpose is to keep us alive.

Halloween and Kanan

Posted in Early parenting years, Kanan news, My Former Life Before Jesus by

pic-01471This year’s Halloween adventure was much better than last years. Check the archive for my details on that although I warn you, the crying skunk pictures are adorable. This year, Mike had Kanan on Halloween, but because I couldn’t resist spending time with my son on such a fun evening, Mike allowed me to not only tag along on their adventure, but even allowed me to direct us where to go. So where to? We went to my Church’s Harvest Festival! It seemed like a fun, wholesome place for Kanan to go and we wouldn’t have to worry about Kanan running in the streets or getting hit by cars or having big kids steal his candy. Mike dressed him in a wet suit and messed up his hair. He was the cutest little surfer there and danced to the band playing music, played bingo, rolled over-sized balls around, and made friends with a little girl dressed as the Cowardly Lion. He even introduced me to her in his little baby gibberish. It was wonderful. Unfortunately, I did forget my camera, but asked Mike to take a shot of Kanan with his cellphone camera. Here is Kanan taking a break from dancing as he gazes at the audience. He was exhausted at this point in the evening and we left shortly after. All in all, Halloween was a success. Kanan had one piece of candy—a tootsie pop and loved every lick it took to get to the center.

Virtual Reality—a scary reality that exists today

Posted in my thoughts by

http://videogames.yahoo.com/feature/online-divorcee-jailed-after-killing-virtual-hubby/1259111

 In the above article found on yahoo video games, a woman in Japan was arrested for hacking. Nevermind the fact that she’s also the same woman who hacked in order to virtually murder her virtual husband in a virtual world website to which she virtually lived. Sound confusing? Yes, virtual reality is much more complex than when it once defined simply video games. Read the article. This is really disturbing. 

The idea of having virtual worlds in which people create a virtual identity and live a hypothetical life just seems unhealthy to me even if one didn’t use it to commit murder. Shouldn’t we live in the real world instead of escaping? This makes television and video-games look like child-play. Also—stories like this show that virtual reality potentially plays with the thin borderline of immorality. Are crimes and vices and lifestyles lived in the virtual world that are considered immoral in the real world any less immoral? It is the heart that matters, right? I think I remember Jesus sharing that.  I imagine people can really become emotionally attached to their other life in this hypothetical land and I’m scared to think of what other lifestyles people are living as their avatars….indulging in vices that could be harmful to themselves and others and disrupting and skewing their perspective and perception of the world in the real world by fueling and feeding some possibly really bad behavior and desires (like cheating on their spouses, for example).

 I strongly feel that these websites shouldn’t exist. I suppose some could argue that people could “get out” their inner desires on these sites so that they don’t do it in the real world, but part of me thinks that there is still no difference and perhaps could drive someone to begin doing some pretty bad things in the real world once tasting it in the virtual world didn’t satisfy them enough anymore. Some could argue that by getting out these desires in the virtual world, they won’t hurt people in the real world—but this article shows that it still can hurt people. The man who divorced this woman virtually—angered her so much, it drove her to virtual murder. She was hurt. This isn’t a video game people. There are real people behind these avatar’s.

 A couple of months ago after learning about these virtual worlds from another source, I visited a couple of virtual world websites myself to see what it is exactly that people can do–I was scared about what I might find. It is crazy, but people can do pretty much anything: buy, sell, go to clubs, have sex, get married, divorce, have kids, have dream jobs, exercise…you name it. People can literally escape this world and live another life in their virtual world.  A professor I was talking to a couple of months ago told me he checked out these websites too because a significant number of college kids on his campus were into them and he was disturbed to see one man on the site had been actively logged in for 3 months! He also shared with me about one website (one in which I later checked out myself to verify his observation)  where the administrators actually had to change a rule on the site that no one with an avatar that looked like a child could go to the sex rooms because of a significant amount of other avatars who were interested in sexual relations with these child-like people. Atleast the websites are not condoning virtual child molestation! But still, that shows that people would endulge in it, if they were allowed. I bet if websites like Maple Story and Second Life gave the option to murder without having to hack into others accounts, people would be doing it.

 In the end, what defines morality? Would moral people do immoral things if they could get away with it?