Category Archives: The Hemsath Life

Reflections on my Father’s Death, One Year Ago Today

Posted in About Me, More Theresa's Thoughts, The Hemsath Life by

The silly picture he texted us all while he was in Maui, a couple of days before he died.

One year ago today, I was having a stressful Thursday and decided in the middle of third period that I was going to take the following day off—for sanity. I remember thinking, I just need a day to rest or else I might get sick. So I made some last-minute substitute plans for the next day, requested a substitute teacher through the school website, and headed home right after 6th period. I had no idea that my father had died in the midst of my preparation.

I went home to a lonely house. Owen was away at school taking a media course. Kanan had left to be with his dad for a few days. And so I lied down on the couch and held my 6-month pregnant belly and fell asleep. I slept hard. So hard in fact that I missed the calls from Linda. I missed the calls from my sister. I missed the calls from my mom. I missed the calls from Owen. I awoke at 6:30 only to realize I needed to race off to my bible study which met at 7. So I quickly grabbed my phone and my bible, slipped on my shoes and started to head out of my house. I looked down at my phone to see if I had missed any calls and saw the number down below. I missed 12 calls. I saw Owen was the last call I missed so I called him first. He answered upset and stressed—why hadn’t I been answering my phone because he had tried to call 6 times to tell me to call my family? Why were my sister and mother and everyone calling him? He was in class and needed to focus and everyone was blowing his phone up and no one was leaving messages.

“Call your family, Theresa!”

I hung up and scrolled through my missed calls. My mother was next. I called her. At this point I was in my car and hadn’t yet started the engine. She answered crying. I can’t recall exactly what she said because her words and tone sent me into a cyclone of fear and confusion. I can piece fragments of her words.

“Oh no Theresa…..its terrible its terrible… I can’t tell you…I can’t tell you…. You are pregnant…I can’t tell you.” And then she let out deep sobs, so deep, so primal, I knew someone I loved was badly injured or dead.

“Mommy please tell me….just tell me!” I cried. But she hung up.

I scrolled back through my missed calls and stopped short when I noticed that the first missed call came from my dad’s phone. My father who was currently on a beautiful vacation in Maui with my stepmother, Linda. My parents, who would never call me while on vacation.  I pressed the number and held my breath.

Linda answered in a calm, slow small voice: “Hi, Treese.”

I immediately burst out, “I know something terrible has happened so just get out with it.”

Her words were slow…contemplated…quiet. Again only fragments. I remember “snorkeling…. he said help….I tried Theresa…. He’s gone…I’m so sorry.”

“My dad is dead?” I asked, as if that idea had not been something I had considered up until this moment.

“Yes, Theresa, he’s gone.”

I immediately screamed out long, dragged out “No’s.” I dropped the phone on my lap and just cried and cried, heaped over in the driver’s seat like a sack of flour, feeling like I was crumbling into little pieces of dust. I can’t imagine what Linda was doing or thinking on the other line as she heard my cries. And to think she had to make that phone call to my sister and brother, to my aunts and uncles, to my grandmother; each time having to sit there in her own despair and have to listen to ours as well. I don’t know how she did it.

I don’t remember the rest of the conversation. At some point I must have ended it. I remember calling my sister and immediately headed over to her house. We were going through a tough time in our own relationship at this time in our lives and yet, how silly and meaningless it all seemed now. I went over without a thought. All of that was gone. I needed to be with my sister right now, the only family closest to me while Owen was at school. On my way to my sister’s house I called him. He didn’t answer. So I texted him: my dad is dead.

That night and the following day are a blur. I’m so glad I already had a substitute planned. I don’t know how I would have even been able to plan a sub-plan during that time. The following night, Linda flew back. My brother and his wife and son as well as my sister and her kids, Owen and I, and our Aunts sat in Linda’s house, waiting for her to come home. She insisted on driving herself home from the airport. When she arrived, we all just held each other and cried and cried. We all spent the night. The entire weekend, we all crammed together in my father’s house with Linda and just mourned together.

Monday was a holiday, so I assumed by Tuesday, I would be able to go back to work. I remember thinking it would be the best way to heal. I was wrong. By the end of first period I was in tears and wondering what I was thinking coming to work. I was so relieved when the Vice Principal walked confidently and yet delicately into my room and asked me why I was even here.

“I thought I could do it, Juan. But your right, I don’t think I can.”

“Go home, Theresa. We will take care of a substitute. Take the week off. I needed two weeks off when this happened to me.”

I packed up and headed home.

It took a couple of weeks before we could hold a funeral for my father. His body was stuck in the coroner’s office in Maui and then had to be shipped to Minnesota or something for another test before it could return here. I didn’t realize how much work and time went into autopsies. But during that time, I made a video and a scrapbook for my father, as well as wrote a memoir of him called “His Hands.” Pain has always been a creative catalyst for me. And creating, whether it be through my writing, painting, or other media has been the only way I can sort through reality and to deal. It purges me, heals me. So by the time the day of his funeral arrived, I was doing better than my sister and brother. Still, we all do things differently. I had planned to show the video and read to the funeral guests the memoir and so I felt I needed to be strong. If I broke down and cried, I don’t think I would have stopped. And they deserved to see the video. They deserved to hear the story. They came here to celebrate his life and to mourn his death.

It was an open casket up until the funeral itself. I stood there in that room, setting up the video equipment with my father’s lifeless body laying in the casket behind me, yet I refused to look. That man was a shell. I didn’t want to remember his shell. I wanted to remember my father. Still, the image I caught in my peripheral vision of his soft, fuzzy brown hair, dusted with gray still resonates with me. Looking back, I regret the decision. It sounded right at the time. But somehow, I think now it would have been good to hold his hand one last time. To kiss his cheek one last time. I don’t remember the last time I had actually seen him before he left to Maui. Owen and I had taken him out to lunch one afternoon a few weeks before. And I had stopped by quickly to pick up some tools and I remember his pleased smile when he greeted me, his warm sweater-covered-arms around my shoulders. His large hand patting my belly. But I don’t remember which one happened in which order. And given that was still a couple of weeks before he passed away, I didn’t get to say good-bye. The last words I had with him were through a text. He was in Maui and texted me a silly picture of him by a stream pretending to be falling, the one posted into this blog.

I texted him back: Looks like you are having a great time!

He replied: Its kind of hard not to.

And that was it. I didn’t reply back. Oh how I wish I had replied back. Said something like—Daddy, you have been everything and more that I could ask in a father. You are a great man and I am so honored to be your daughter. I will love you forever.

And so I guess that is why I am writing this. I’m still trying to let him know, through my blogs and my life, through my prayers to God, how much I love and miss him. But my Aunt Julie made a good point on Facebook today, she said these profound words and they moved me greatly: “The other great joy in your passing, like with Dad, there was, for the most part, no words unspoken. We knew you LOVED us and you knew we LOVED you.  What greater joy is there than that. ”

Still, that doesn’t mean we don’t mourn. More so for ourselves than anything. We are incomplete without him here. Linda still mourns, probably more so than anyone else, and rightfully so. He was her soul mate. She is alone now with out him. She lives with my grandma now, my dad’s mother. And they have a great system set up. They are good for each other and I’m so glad my grandmother is there with her. She sits in his chair. She rubs her feet together the same way he does. And I see him in her. A topic came up the other night in our family after we watched the movie Courageous together. What is it like to continue living without your love there? Is it like living with an amputation? She said no. For her, she feels abandoned, she said. What do you say to that? No hug, no pat on the shoulder, no meaningless “keep your chin up” comment could remedy that. All I could say was, “I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing that with me.” Even then….stupid. It was a stupid thing to say. I don’t know what the right thing would be. Probably nothing. Probably just a hug and a good cry.

My brother,sister, and I have all had our own trials this year as we’ve mourned. And yet despite the trials, we have persevered. My brother has a new job and a growing second career in music. He has started to go to church again. The first time since he was a child. My sister has moved out of her boyfriend’s house and exploring a new independent life and a newfound relationship with Jesus as well. God uses all things for good.

I myself have had Jameson. Owen and I decided his middle name would be Jeffrey, after my father. He is a beautiful, happy baby with an easy-going disposition, just like my father. He bears his name well. I wish my father could have met him. And now we are pregnant again. Amazing how much my father is missing. But then again and I can’t help but be reminded that no matter how many awesome life events he is missing, he is having a way better time with the Lord. We have joys, yes, but in a broken, fallen world, waiting to be restored by the creator when Christ returns. My father on the other hand, is with Him. He is with the Great I AM. No child, no wife, no father, no friend can ever be as awesome and fulfilling as that. And I also take great comfort in knowing that this life, with all its joys and pain, is but one grain of sand in an eternity of beaches we will spend together one day with the Lord. My children, by the grace of God, will meet their grandfather one day.

My Aunt Julie said another profound statement in that Facebook post today regarding this very thing. She posted, “The only happiness that we were all able to gleen from your passing is that by your own admission and through your upbringing you were a believer in Christ and with that singular and sole choice by you, we know that you have everlasting life in Our Lord Jesus. The greatest gift you gave to yourself you also gave to us who believe too. We are so grateful that we will see you again. Our sorrow would be a 1000 times greater if you had chosen a different path.”

So true. So true.

But until that time when we see him again, I will keep his memory alive through these blogs, through his photo illustrations, through the stories of his life we share as a family. My children will meet him already knowing him. I promise you that.

Pregnant again….Baby #3 due tentatively, July 19th.

Posted in Pregnancy Update, Random, The Hemsath Life by

from babycenter.com

I didn’t even realize I was pregnant until I was about 6 weeks along and started wondering why the heck I was so darn tired! It was that intense fatigue that I only experienced with pregnancy, but I got thrown off because I was battling a cold. I kept wondering if was due to that even though it didn’t make sense. I had never been that tired from a cold. So I started to grow suspicious, yet kept it to myself. Then one weekend, I started to feel a little nauseous and noticed my lips were started to peel. Peely lips is this strange side effect of pregnancy I have had with Kanan, the baby we lost in miscarriage, and Jameson. At that point, I knew I was pregnant. So I told Owen I was going to get a pregnancy test. You should have seen his face!

The irony about it all is that we were already discussing birth control options because Jameson was starting to ween himself and I knew that breastfeeding would no longer cover me (even though it was already only a mild cover. Yes, I knew it was risky but just wasn’t good at that darn mini-pill! So yes, I knew we were taking a chance. But goodness, I had just had this baby and my cycle hadn’t even returned! Somehow, I just felt it was worth the chance.

The day I planned to go buy the pregnancy test also turned out to be the day that the pharmacy called, saying my diaphragm was ready to pick up. So I picked that up and bought a test. Needless to say that night, I put the diaphragm on the bottom shelf of my bathroom cupboard with all my dusty boxes of tampons and maxi-pads, picked up the phone and called Owen, sharing the news. He was ecstatic!

This means I got pregnant when Jameson was only 4 months old and that will make him and the new baby only 13 months and a couple of weeks apart once the baby is here. Kanan will be 5. That is three children all under 5. I drive a Toyota Camry. There is not enough space in the back seat for three car seats. We live in a small 2-bedroom apartment that is already cluttered with too much stuff because there are four of us there. To add another baby into our lives will mean selling the car, and finding a house to rent. We’ve got 5 more months until the baby arrives. At the very least, we need a new car by then. But I really would like to move out this summer before the baby comes as well.

So now for the exciting subplots. I had to take a blood test to determine how far along I was given I didn’t have a LMP to determine that. The blood test indicated that I was 6-7 weeks along at the time that I took it. However when I went in for my first doctor’s appt., I measured two weeks further along! She expressed to us so nonchalantly, “That means you are further a long than we thought or you are having twins.” At this, Owen and I jumped. I asked her if she could find a second heart beat. She said she would have to look for it and that could take time so we would just find out when I had the ultrasound. So here we are waiting on pins and needles for February 20th—the day of our ultrasound. Now, if you want to ask me what my intuition tells me, I will tell you I don’t think I am. I think I’m just further a long. I’m not as hungry as I was with Jameson and Kanan. You would think I’d be hungrier, right? Plus, my first trimester symptoms were not as strong. I was tired and nauseous yes, but I was way worse with Jameson and Kanan. With Jameson, I threw up everyday! This pregnancy, I vomited only once.

So I think I might be having a girl. 🙂

And that would be awesome!! Oh, how I want tutus and tights! I want big flowers on headbands and curly tresses!

We shall see.

Until then, I’m about 17 weeks along if my measurements are true. Or I’m 15 weeks along with twins! I’m past the nauseous and tired phase although I still can get nauseous when I brush my teeth. I love my sweets. I sigh a lot for some reason. And at 15 weeks, I had actually lost 4 pounds of my post-Jameson pregnancy weight. Haven’t weighed myself again since, but I will say this….my belly is getting bigger but my thighs and rear are looking smaller!  I’m feeling pretty darn happy and trying not to stress about how the heck we are going to do this. Theres no turning back now, so I may as well trust in the Lord and enjoy my life! God will take care of us!

Jameson Jeffrey is 8 months old!

Posted in parenting, The Hemsath Life by

My how time flies! Jameson turned 8 months old on February 26th and we just learn more about him everyday as his personality grows.

His favorite activity is pulling himself up on everything. He has even started to shuffle himself a little along furniture, the first stages of walking. He still has a long way to go. He doesn’t know how to position his feet properly for walking. His toes curl under, or he will stand on the top part of his foot, twisting his toes so far under that he passes them altogether and somehow rests on the metacarpals. Doesn’t that hurt, baby? Still, there have been a couple of moments when he has stood without support for a fraction of a second and maybe even a full second. Boy does that excite him! He knows what that means!

He also loves to take baths and watch his brother take baths. Jameson will sit in his bath seat and just splash and splash. He isn’t afraid of the water at all. I can pour water over his head to rinse the shampoo out of his hair and he might get wide eyed for a second, but no tears and he’s back to splashing within a few seconds. When his brother takes a bath, he likes to come into the bathroom and stand on the outside of the tub. Kanan loves this. He shows off for Jameson, holding his breath under the water, gargling, making silly faces, you name it. Jameson likes to drop toys in the bath and watch them sink or watch Kanan retrieve them for him. Then he repeats the process.

JJ’s other favorite passtime is eating. He sits in his chair and just gobbles up whatever I put in front of him. He has two little bottom teeth, which help, but I think he has some hard gums with all the teeth developing underneath, so he is really good at gumming stuff. So while I continue to feed him pureed foods with a spoon, I’m also allowing him to explore some firmer foods that he can pick up with his pincer grasp. Last night he ate little pieces of potato, zuchini, feta cheese, and even tiny fragments of shredded chicken. I’m not giving them to him bland either as I want him to get used to my seasoning. So he enjoyed flavors of garlic, lemon, pepper, parsley, and salt in his food last night. He loves food so much, the second I put him in the high chair, he starts whining for food. And even if he has already had a snack, if he sees someone eating, he wants to eat too! 🙂

Speaking of whining….ugh…he has discovered it. Now, in his defense, he has been sick lately….again. Both Jameson and I have been battling colds since early December. We seem to be getting one right after the other. Last month, I switched to the soy

for a couple of weeks. As I had posted. And it did make a difference. During those two weeks, his congestion improved and he didn’t have any colds. But then I moved him back onto milk-based formula because the soy constipated him so much. And sure enough, the morning after the first night of milk formula, he came down with cold symptoms. Now, it could be coincidence and it just coincided with a cold. But regardless, he developed bronchitis within a couple of  days. So the doctor put him on antibiotics and some cough medicine to open up his airways as he was really weezy. She asked me to put him back on Goodstart Soy as that wasit!) atleast while he was sick. She said we could then mess with the milk-formula again after he was well and see how he does. But it is the only soy he didn’t get constipated on (its just twice the price of regular soy formula, which is why I didn’t stay on it. We had to dip into savings just to even make it this month. So I’ll be honest, after the Goodstart ran out, I just put him back on the milk-formula I already had in my cupboard. I still have the soy formula that constipated him too so I have been putting one scoop of soy and three scoops of milk to try and see if would lesson the possible effects of the milk formula, without constipating him. So far so good. He is on Z-pack and finished the antibiotics three days ago. But they are supposed to continue to work for 5 more days. He seems to be feeling better. No more crying and whining and much less weezing, but his nose is still runny and he has a little cough still. Probably still the lingering effects of the cold. I now have it too, so I do know it is indeed a virus and not allergies.

I had mentioned last month that there was a tasty looking homemade formula I could make with rice milk. Unfortunately, however, I calculated how much it would cost to make it per month. It came out to a whopping 288 dollars!! Well, Owen got laid off from City Squares at the beginning of this month and his video business is such a baby still, there is no consistent money to rely on. Therefore, we are basing our budget on my paycheck. We can’t afford it. Sure, people say to make cuts like getting rid of cable, going out to eat, etc. We already do those things. It is crazy that the money that I make is still not enough to live a comfortable American life for a family of four. Now, with the budget we create, we are able to tithe, and to save a little every month to put toward Owen’s tuition and a splash here and there toward a hypothetical future house, but that is it.

So the decision is this: after this cold, see if regular congestion continues with Jameson on milk-based formula. If it continues, switch to Goodstart. It is more expensive, but it works and it is not as extreme of an expense as making homemade rice formula. Thankfully, we have only a few more months of formula needed anyway. Jameson loves food more than formula anyway, so it should be an easy transition as we approach May.

Just toward his 8-month birthday, I decided to stop feeding him after I put him to bed and feed him his bedtime bottle.  He has been waking up at 1 or 2 every morning hungry and I’ve been feeding him. But I do it with guilt. I know he doesn’t need to and he is just a trained night feeder. But I just didn’t want to deal with the screaming and crying and feared it would take a long time. It didn’t. It took three nights. The first night, he screamed for like 2 hours. The next night for one hour. The third night, he didn’t bother to wake up. Since then he does wake up at 5 am (almost to the minute every morning!) super hungry and I do feed him for that one because by that time he has slept for about 10 hours. Typically, I bring him into my room for that feeding and then he just falls right back to sleep. He then gets to wake up with Mommy or Daddy. I know this will be the next thing to stop before baby #3 shows up (if you don’t know that, read the blog after this…I’ll post it here after this.). But as for now, we still have about 5 months. So, I’ll enjoy this for a couple more months and start working on it as we approach his first birthday.

Kanan…my little bubba

Posted in Kanan news, The Hemsath Life by

He is growing up so fast!

Knowledge– He can recognize all his letters and knows their sounds, so reading is right around the corner. He is learning all of his states. He is fascinated with Megalodon, the prehistoric shark and with Tyrannosaurus Rex. He is in preschool and will be starting Kindergarten next fall. We recently just enrolled him in Calvary Kids Club at our church, which is like Awana. He just earned his first patch. Right now he is working on learning about God’s love and forgiveness of us through his son Jesus.

Play– he loves to play with his Star Wars action figures he bought with his own money and these two little ninja fighters he got at the Dollar Tree with his own money as well. He loves playing Captain America on Owen’s IPad and playing Wii Sports like baseball and boxing.

Action— he can run, and loves it. He is learning to surf, skateboard, and snowboard. He learned how to swim this summer. He loves boxing with Owen. He is not a really good sport so we have yet to get him involved in any team sports but we are hoping to get him into baseball maybe next summer.

Creativity— he finally, finally is starting to enjoy coloring! I am so excited! I am not the race-car-driving, action-figure-fighting, Wii-sport-playing type of mom. I can handle about 2 minutes of it and I’m dying of boredom. But coloring, coloring I can do for hours! So I’m really hoping to nurture this developing hobby and perhaps get Kanan to even love it. He has artistic talent in his blood, but his dad had zero….so not sure what the odds are.

Personality—he is a talker and he loves to make people laugh. He is still very sensitive. He has an amazing sense of direction. He knows where everything is at in North County and can tell you where he is at and how to get to where he is going. He is very loving toward his little brother. He can get a bit restless when stuck in the house too long. And he loves disgusting jokes about poop and farts. One of his favorite pastimes before sleep is to let his Mom do “going on a treasure hunt” on his back. He is a pretty good eater, but a much better snacker. He is known in our home for asking for a “little snack” multiple times a day.

Silly stuff— The other day, he got a hold of the scissors and decided to give himself a haircut. So he got his head shaved yesterday.

Jameson is 5 1/2 months!

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Well, it seems I have gotten myself on this non-traditonal timeline for posting updates on Jameson. But, I kind of like being untraditional, so there. :)This last month has been a big month for little Jameson. Last month we had started him on solids but the day after I made my post, his body decided to stop pooping. Poor little guy was constipated for a week. Didn’t poop. He was miserable. And so was his babysitter Cecia and of course, me. So we decided it may have been the solid food and so took a break from that. We did start him back into trying it out earlier this week. We tried sweet potatoes for two days and he did just fine. Think we will go back to one of his first tastes, peas today in addition to a taste or two of sweet potato and continue to monitor him.

Other milestones:

Sitting! He is a really good sitter now. I can sit him on the floor in the living room and he can balance there for ten minutes or so before falling over, so we are really proud of him. He is proud of himself too. Now that he can sit on his own, that is all he wants to do. Its like once he figures something he can do, he wants to practice and practice and practice on it until he’s mastered it and then move on to something else. Check out this cute video of him sitting and playing with his toys:

 

Babbling! Right now, his favorite sound is “Nahnah!” and he says it all the time. He mostly says it when he is whining, so I’m wondering of it is his attempt at saying “no,” or “no more,” or  “none of this!” Haha. We shall see.

Blowing Rasberries! Oh my does he love to do this. And it is adorable. He was blowing raspberries all through church service today and was getting smiles from everybody. Kanan thinks it is hilarious and will blow raspberries back at Jameson. To which Jameson loves, because the kid just adores attention from his brother. So they will sit there and blow raspberries back and forth with each other for a few minutes.

Rolling, Wiggling, and Scooting! I will put Jameson down on his belly and the kid will be on the other side of the living room within a few minutes. He really wants to crawl. But until then he just rolls where he wants to go, or sort of just sort of wiggles and scoots to get toys he wants. It is amazing. He will now rock back and forth on his hands and knees for a few seconds too. I think Kanan started crawling at 9 months, but don’t remember him doing this stuff this early. I’m wondering if JJ will be crawling sooner.

Growing! I don’t know what he weighs, but he went through like two growth spurts in the last month. He was gobbling down food non-stop, sleeping a lot. All I can say is that he grew right out of his 3-6 month clothing and shot through most of his 6-9 month clothes. He fits into a few of those now, but he is just so long–that he no longer fits in any onesies or jumpers. Only shirts and pants. So I pulled out the 9-12 month box of clothes from the garage yesterday, and oh my—I put him in a shirt and pair of jeans from that box today for church—it fits him perfectly!! That is just crazy, right? A 5 month old fitting into 9-12 month clothes? Maybe the baby clothing companies need to change their sizes for the babies of today. I hear more of this issue than anything. Or maybe size them by weight instead so there is no more of this month thing to throw people off. I’m guessing that Jameson weighs about 20 pounds right now. But still, that doesn’t seem like the size of a 10 month old, does it?  Who knows. Regardless, I am extremely blessed to have so many giving friends. We have yet to really buy Jameson any clothes yet because so many of our friends passed down their stuff. Big shout out to the Taylor’s and the Macejewski’s right now! Jameson is dressing in style this winter! Honestly, I’m okay with onesies for summer because they look cute alone with just naked, chubby legs hanging out of them. But I dont’ care for them with pants. So onesies in the winter are just out. On to shirts and pants. And the clothes just get more stylish once you venture out of onesie land anyway. So he is looking good!

We just love our little baby boy. He is such a blessing from God!

 

 

Two Years of Marriage

Posted in Random, The Hemsath Life by

Owen and I celebrated our 2 year Anniversary on October 1st. About a month prior to that day, I came up with a great idea for our special day: wine tasting in Temecula and spending the night at a nice hotel. Owen was in. So I set to work, finding a great plan for our special day.

That morning we dropped Jameson off at a friend’s house to be watched for 24 hours, dropped off Kanan at his dads and then headed out to Temecula. I couldn’t open my email on my way to get the address to the hotel I had booked, but I knew it was off of Winchester. I was pretty certain it was The Holiday Inn so when we discovered a Holiday Inn near Winchester, we pulled right it. We tried checking in but the front desk said we needed to do it when we returned from our wine tasting trip (which was scheduled to pick up at the hotel around 10 AM. So Owen and I headed over to back room where the hotel was giving its complimentary breakfast. About 10 minutes into a delicious omelette with toast and jelly, and a hot coffee, my email finally worked. I opened it up to make sure the pickup time was correct, but instead I was greeted with shocking news. We were at the wrong hotel! We were scheduled to stay at another hotel down the street! Owen and I looked around embarrassed realizing we were eating stolen food and quickly snuck out of the hotel and raced to our car in hopes to make it to the hotel we were scheduled to be picked up.

Soon enough the Grape Vine Express arrived and took us on our trip. We toured four different wineries that day. Our favorite was the Leoness, where we got to walk through the vineyards and taste the grapes right on the vine. It was a beautiful winery resting on hills overlooking wine country. Toward the end of the tour we got to sit in a dimly lit room where the barrels of wine were stored. Would have been a beautiful and creative room to hold a wedding reception in. The rest of the wineries were rather crowded and did not include tours. Still, they were fun and Owen and I enjoyed talking with each other and meeting people, and of course, tasting the different wines.

We came back to our hotel and rested for a couple of hours and then headed out to Old Town Temecula for our anniversary dinner. We found this great mediterranean restaurant there called Soros. Owen was a bit skeptical at first of the restaurant, in fear that mediterranean food would be mostly vegetables. I assured him he would be able to eat meat. We enjoyed the warm October night on the patio of the restaurant, the tables illuminated with tiny white christmas lights and the moon. Live music floated through the dinner area from a beer-garden near by. I had a delicious beef shish-kabob and Owen enjoyed a chicken artichoke dish.

We finished the evening by walking around old town and finding this tiny little wine tasting room at the bottom of an old hotel. There were three men there around our age playing cover songs of 80’s and 90’s music with their own reggae twist. A man renting the tasting area poured us a zippy and dry Zinfindale from his own vineyard and Owen and I laughed and sang a long with the band to old Sublime, Violent Femmes, and Chris Issac songs. We would have stayed longer if these two blonde cougars with their rich, old boyfriends hadn’t started to annoy us with their provocative dancing and squeeling. So we headed back to the hotel to enjoy the rest of the evening, just the two of us.

The next morning, we ate the less quality but still delicious breakfast that we were supposed to eat, given we were now in the right hotel. And then raced back to North County San Diego to pick up our little Jameson who we missed so much.

All in all, our Anniversary filled us with many fun memories.

Jameson is 2 months old!

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I come to this day bittersweetly (yes, I made up the adverb). I’m sure you understand the mixed feelings a mother may get when seeing her baby get chubby and responsive yet at the same time, that much further away from the newborn he once was. Yet for me, this blog is even more hightened in sensitivity because I am that much closer to having to return to work. I have two more weeks. But I will save the details of this transition for the next blog as the day gets closer. In the meantime, yes, Jameson is 2 months old today. 🙂

What a wonderful feeling to have my heart grow so big. Kanan had such a big portion of my heart and I wondered before Jameson would be born if I would love him as much as I love Kanan. I knew the answer would probably be yes, but I still wondered. And the answer is most definitely yes! I love this little boy so much it makes me want to cry! Overall he is such an easy baby. He doesn’t cry very often. Very go with the flow personality. He doesn’t even really cry during night wakings. He just sort of grunts. Phew!

There are definitely so many things he just loves and hates. He started smiling really early—right around 1 month of age. But since then, it has increased significantly! Now he is smiling all the time and Owen, Kanan, and I are just gobbling it up. The funny thing is, he won’t smile for camera! As soon as that strange black box comes out, Jameson switches from smiles to pursed lips and shadow boxing, no joke! I think the flash was also a bother for him because if I switch it to video I can get him to smile a bit.On the other hand, Jameson refuses to cooperate for tummy time. When tummy time comes around, instead of practicing his push ups and lifting his head, he instead turns his head to the right, whines a mutter or two, and then just resorts to sucking on his fingers or even falling asleep! So, needless to say, he is not gaining the head strength that I was hoping he would gain by this time. *sigh* Oh well! He will do it in his time, right? I’m just hoping the carrying him around over my shoulder will help his head strength enough. As for bath time, I have a little ducking on my hands! He just loves bath time. I lay him down in this little canopy that sits at the bottom of the tub, fill the tub up until there is just a little poos around his bum and legs and then I turn it off. We keep it luke warm, especially in these hot days of summer. Jameson coos and smiles in there. Diaper changes continue to be a joyous time of our day. And given JJ is a poopoo monster, we are there a few times throughout the day. He loves to have his diaper taken off and his lower half exposed and aired out, let me tell you. 🙂 If I ever need a smile or a coo out of him, I know where to take him. Conversely, Jameson HATES his carseat. Thankfully, he doesn’t hate it as much as Kanan did, so it is not a continuous scream the entire time he is in there. Instead, its just crying at first. Then he settles down once we are moving. I can’t wait for him to get enough head strength to put him in my jogging stroller. While in the carseat, he doesn’t enjoy our walks as much as I wish. I think there is only so  much bright sky he can enjoy. He tends to just force himself to go to sleep, so he misses out on a lot when we are out. I don’t think he knows much more than our house because when we go elsewhere in his carseat, he chooses to sleep instead.

As for stats, here we go:

Weight: I don’ t know. I checked it a couple of weeks ago, and he was 12 pounds then. I assume given the standard weight gain that most babies go through around this time that he should be atleast 13 pounds by now. I’m scheduling his 2 month check up this afternoon and so can hopefully update this when I find out.

Milestones: smiles, reaching and hitting dangling toys from playgym, grabbed a toy during tummy time today (could be an accident, wasn’t there to see if it looked conscious), cooing.

Sleep: can fall asleep without needing a pacifier during naps and after night wakings. Really only needs the pacifier to himself down at bedtime (830 pm). 830 is the bedtime he decided on. No matter when he wakes up from his last nap, at 830 if I don’t have him in bed, the boy is actually yelling at me. It is too funny. I bet this could explain his need for a pacifier. Perhaps if I put him down at 8, he wouldn’t need one. I need to be anymore conscious of the time and prepare for an earlier bedtime. As for night wakings, we are starting to see the beginning stages of sleeping through the night in the future. I try and do a dreamfeed at 1030 (doesn’t always happen), and then he usually wakes again at 230 AM and then at 530 AM. About a week ago, one night he slept from 1030 pm to 530 am. And then last night he slept from 930-200 and then from 215-745! woot woot! Now when I return to work in two weeks, if continues to wake up at 530, it won’t hurt as bad because I’ll already be up getting ready. I suppose if that happens then I will just have to deal with the 230 night waking. But if he skips that soon, even if he still wakes at 530, it will be sleeping through the night on my watch….and that ladies and gentlemen, is all that matters. 🙂

Eating: Not sure how much he eats in a typical feeding because he nurses most often. On the times I have bottle fed him, he can drink as much as 4 1/2 ounces. He did that on Saturday.Still, it seems to be that he eats the least during the afternoons. When I try and feed him in the afternoons, he is very fast and often pulls on and off often and will even fuss to let me know he just doesn’t want anymore. Again, I’m not sure how much he is getting, but I can feel the difference in my breasts and can see  that he is not into it. Not sure why. Too hot? Too much going on in the afternoons? He has become much more aware of his surroundings the last couple of weeks as I think his vision has improved. Perhaps he is now easily distracted because of that.

Trips/outings: He has been to Utah, hotels, a dinasoar museum, walks along the beach in Carlsbad, the beach, parks, grocery stores, the pool, restaurants, friends and family’s homes, Kanan’s preschool, church, felloswship group, Comic Con and the S.D convention center, and the trolley.

The Family: Owen adores his son. He cuddles with him by the computer often and share lots of smiling and cooing moments together. 🙂 Owen will be taking over the dreamfeed as well once I return to work, so I can be asleep at 10 pm given my earlier wake time as well as night feeds. Kanan just loves being an older brother. He covers Jameson with so many kisses, JJ has actually slapped him off. Too funny. I’m trying to teach Kanan when enough is enough. 🙂 Kanan is really good with playing with Jameson and taking care of him in the backseat. He has even given JJ bottles when I have been on the road and JJ has been hungry.

One month with Jameson

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Jameson in his new swing showing off his receding hairline!

I know this is cliché, but boy is it hard to believe that a month has already passed since Jameson was born. The last two weeks since my last post have been fun-filled to say the least. We dared to drive to Utah with Jameson and Kanan in tow. Jameson was great! He just slept, woke up to eat, hung out in the back and looked around during his wake periods, and that was basically it. Kanan had a bit more of a challenge by dealing with boredom, but we split the trip into two 6-hour drives with a hotel stay in Mesquite, Nevada as the break. So—audio books, music, and toys filled his time on the drives as well as potty and leg-stretching breaks.

Owen, Uncle Logan, Grandma Susie, and Jameson at the fair in South Jordan, Utah

Our trip to Utah was great! We went to the Dinosaur museum at Thanksgiving Point, the park, the movies to see Kung Fu Panda 2, and spent a lot to time just hanging with Owen’s family at his dad’s house. They had a big trampoline in the backyard which Kanan loved! Kanan spent a lot of time playing with his cousins Belle, Spencer, and Gavin and of course with his Aunt Raynee and Uncle Arza. Jameson was spoiled with love as well from his Grandma Susie and Aunt Holly. He got really fussy around 9 pm every night, but we think it was because he grew tired and couldn’t sleep with all the noise. Yes, the Hemsath’s are night owls! 9 pm every night looked more like 5 pm in every other family! The house was filled, the kids were running around, the tv was blaring, the family was yapping and laughing. But the house was very quiet until noon! Since we have returned, I’ve been working on getting Jameson on a schedule. We wake for the day around 8 A.M. Jameson eats every 2.5-3 hours. He is sleepy in the mornings, very active and awake in the afternoons, and then sleepy again around 830 pm and for the rest of the night. We give him a dream feed around 1030/11 pm and then he wakes around 230 AM and 530 AM for a night feeding.

Kanan, Grandma-Great, and Jameson

Jameson is such an easy baby!!! He cries when he is hungry, needs a diaper change, is bored, or is too hot, or having a hard time falling asleep. That’s it. Pretty easy. 🙂

Earlier this week, he started smiling. And not just a gassy smile—but real ones! When he is fed and happy, and we get close and talk to him—he rewards us with coo’s, big smiles, and bright eyes. Oh what a joy!!! Haven’t been able to capture it on camera or video yet because my camera was full. But I am ready today to get it done!

Please enjoy the photos I’ve uploaded in Flickr via this link—OUR PHOTOS.  I’m not sure why they are not showing up on my side bar anymore. I changed my template so maybe that has something to do with it. If I fix it and you now see them on the side then if you click on one of the photos, it will take you to the website and then you can scroll through the rest from there. Enjoy!

Jameson’s 2 Week Checkup

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According to Dr. Stein, Jameson’s pediatrician, Jameson is doing great! He is supposed to reach his birth weight by 2 weeks but as of this morning he has exceeded it—born at 9 pounds and 2 ounces, he is now 10 pounds and 5 ounces! Yay for supplementing, pumping, lactation consultant visits, the football hold, taking fenugreek herbs, and drinking tons and tons of water! Yes, my milk supply is back up to par. Although Jameson still struggles in the evenings with getting enough milk out when my letdown isn’t as strong because his little tongue tie literally “ties him down.” I prayed about it on the way to the doctor’s office and asked the Lord to guide the visit and show the pediatrician what needed to be done. I would be content with his answer on whether or not to clip Jameson’s frenulum. I then told the pediatrician about my concern. He said he’d look but wouldn’t do anything if it wasn’t that bad. But sure enough, he looked at his little tongue tie and said that indeed, it could be cut back a bit to help his latch. Then he stepped out of the room to grab his instruments, came back in happily humming a tune and clipped JJ’s tongue right then and there. Oh did Jameson scream! But that was it. It bled for a few seconds. The pediatrician showed me how much of a difference just a little trim made on his ability to extend his tongue and then gave him to me to nurse. I immediately put him to my chest and JJ nursed. I noticed a difference in his latch right away! Praise God!

JJ, crashed out on momma's lap.

Given that my supply is back up and JJ is over and beyond his birth weight with a clipped tongue, I am going to stop taking the herbs and see if just regular supply and demand will help me maintain. Plus, I’m tired of smelling like pancakes all the time. That fenugreek just seeps through my pores and it smells exactly like maple syrup! 😛

As for other stats—Jameson is 21 1/2 inches long and is in the 75th percentile for both height and weight. The doctor said his circumcision healed “beautifully” and he has a “gorgeous” color. His adjectives made me think of that Seinfeld episode when they all met that ugly baby and the parents kept asking everyone how “gorgeous” they believed their baby to be. Then Elaine’s crush named Ben called the baby “breath-taking.” Of course, my baby isn’t ugly—but still, the adjectives were funny. 🙂