One year ago today, I didn’t sleep all night because of my contractions

I shivered violently from my fever of 102.7 from my water breaking the day before

One year ago today, our lives were changed forever.

God delivered to Mike and I by emergency c-section, a cherub angel who would put life in its proper perspective.

One year ago today, I heard my son’s first cry, shrill and angry to have left his warm home so unnaturally.

And I heard his sweet silence and calm awareness when I whispered in his ear how much I loved him.

One year ago today, my son was rushed to the NICU

and I was forced to be away from him for 24 hours while they monitored us both for an infection.

One year ago today, I eagerly listened to my family tell me stories

about what my son looked like or cried like, or slept like, or yawned like.

One year ago today, Mike had 210 photos taken of him and his new son

and of our family and friends holding him.

One year ago today, and I remember it with the same fierciness and passion

I felt in the very moments I was experiencing it.

And tomorrow, it will be one year from when I actually held him in my arms and nursed his hunger for the first time.

How much I still wish that I had experienced that gift of giving

One year ago today.