Pregnancy–the good, the bad, and the weird…thus far

Posted in About Me, Pregnancy Update, Random, The Hemsath Life by

The Good:

  • Having the excuse to eat more, sleep more, cry more, and lay around more. My husband does more things for me to around the house. It feels great to finally rest and to know it is going to be okay!
  • People insisting I don’t help with the lifting and carrying of heavy things.
  • My students are nicer and more respectful to me. They ask me questions about the baby; they compliment me on my cute belly; they ask me how I’m feeling; they show sympathy when I’m not feeling well; they laugh at all my jokes and stories; and they genuinely apologize when they mess up. Well, most of them. I still have one or two who like to bet their pennies.
  • I feel just genuinely more happy and carefree when teaching. Kids don’t frustrate me as easily. Broken copy machines, missing substitutes, and unexpected fire drills just roll off my back these days. And as for my classroom management style, eh….just don’t do it again, okay? Who am I? I used to be a drill Sargent!
  • Feeling the baby kick. Feels like popping popcorn now, and I can’t wait until it gets stronger. Owen got to feel the baby kick for the first time last night. So cool! Just wait until it looks like scenes from Alien. Or when the baby decides to kick the air out of my lungs without me expecting.
  • Talking to Kanan about the baby. He kisses my belly. He tells me he loves his baby brother or sister. He wants him to be a girl and to name her Allison (Even though the ultrasound showed us it is a boy and we think we may name him Mathias or Mateo). He wants me to hold the baby and him or to have Papa (Owen’s name) hold the baby and I hold him. He wants to help feed the baby and hold the baby too. So darn cute! Oh yeah, and he loves watching videos from Baby Center that shows the development of the baby in the womb.
  • I’ll just say it–my decolotage. I was never really blessed in that department and it feels great to fill out a blouse. My husband is enjoying the new me too.

The Bad:

  • I’m insatiably thirsty constantly. I walk around everywhere I go with a 24 oz water bottle with me. I fill it up four to five times a day and go through an entire one just to get through a night’s sleep.
  • Round ligament pain and sore spots as my belly grows. Especially if I cough really hard or get up too quickly. Gah! Right now its my right side that seems the sorest. And I believe it is exaggerated because the baby likes to hang out on that side more as well and push his little feet in the same spot.
  • Forgetting I have a belly when trying to squeeze through smaller spaces and scraping it. Like trying to get in a public bathroom stall. Who would have thought that it takes strategy to use a public restroom? I think I’ll just go straight for the disabled stall first now.
  • Going to the bathroom twice as much. And sometimes feeling like I’m going to pee my pants only to sit down and tinkle a tablespoon.
  • All the medical scares that come with being pregnant in the 21st century. What ever happened to just being pregnant and having a baby? Now I’ve got to do blood tests and ultrasounds and if anything is slightly off, they scare me with all the what if’s, risks, and possibilities and then want me to do all these other medical procedures. I believe it’s a greedy conspiracy for money.
  • Gagging every time I brush my tongue. When pregnant, the breathe-through-your-nose trick doesn’t work. Earlier in the pregnancy I had to brush twice. First brush for the sake of hygiene. The second brush to clean up the mess.
  • Watching my derriere get bigger along with my belly. I’ve gained only 6 pounds thus far and it may look like all belly, but why is it that my pants and underwear are feeling tighter around my hips too? They are low-cut, so don’t tell me its my belly.

The Weird:

  • Really dry, cracked bottom lip. I had it when I was pregnant with Kanan and I have it again. It is bad! And no amount of water or chapstick cures it. I find that taking a hot shower and then rubbing it vigorously with a dry towel after makes it look normal. Until I wake up in the morning and its is back again. Getting into the habit of pulling off the dry flakes with my teeth or my fingers. Very sexy. Especially when they bleed. Hey, no need for lipstick! I’ve got naturally stained lips!
  • Adventurous dreams! They are way more detailed with much more complicated plots. And I remember them! Of course, my husband is dumbfounded by my elaborate explanations of these dreams. But sometimes I just have to share them, they are just so crazy. Last night, I dreamed I was a senior in high school and forced to fight against the gangs to save my life, only to have the authorities and school administrators believe I was a gang member too.

Our Family Pictures

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A month or two ago, Owen and I decided to get some family photos taken with Kanan. We hadn’t had any family photos taken with Kanan since we were married and wanted to get some done before our family grew. Our friend Marci Mares took the photos at a beautiful state park near our house called Guajome. Look her up! She is an amazing photographer and has great packages! Kanan behaved well and my belly was still small enough not to take the thunder from our family shots. I tried not to wear anything that really showed off my belly just to make sure the focus was on the three of us. Anyway, take a look to at the photos in our Flickr thumbnails to the right. This one is one of my favorites. Belly shots will be coming next in our professional photo collection, courtesy of my friend Lisa Briley—another amazing photographer!

Almost 18 Weeks Pregnant

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Baby Boy Hemsath’s head and profile

And…….

It’s a boy!!! Who would have thought? Certainly not Owen or I or most people for that matter. Only one teenage student and our friend Amy said boy. I was sicker this time around it seemed, and more tired, so I assumed that the differences chocked it up to a girl. Nope. Haha! Regardless, I am soooo excited. I cried when I saw the images of him on the screen. And Owen is stoked too. Kanan got to be with us as well and see the baby on the screen.

Little Footsie!

Well, we did figure out a boy name weeks back. It was the girl names we were struggling with (Anayah, Alessandra, Jordan, Genesis, or Allison were possibilities). So as of two weeks ago, our little boy’s name is Mathias James Hemsath. But now that we know it is a boy, Owen would like to put some more thought into the name so I’m not guaranteeing it will stay Mathias James. So until we officially know, we will refer to this munchkin as Baby Boy Hemsath.

Boy Parts are below words on image

As for other updates
Weeks along: almost 18

Estimated due date: May 20

Heartbeat/rate: 154 bpm

Next appointment scheduled: Jan 12

Condition of baby: Active and healthy boy! Baby Boy Hemsath was so active during the ultrasound, the tech could barely get clear image shots.

I know my favorite books for pregnancy help me know what to expect each week. So much of it is right on. But here’s my additional symptoms.

Food cravings: none

Other symptoms: stuffy nose and sneezing constantly! (the nose ring doesn’t help), breathlessness, intense insatiable thirst! Getting up to go to the bathroom one to two times in the night. And feeling more voluptuous in the décolletage area.

Nausea: only a bout once a week in the morning. And perhaps one episode in the evening since my last post.

Fatigue: pretty much gone!!! I feel fabulous!

Baby Boy Hemsath face and skull

Size of belly: starting to wear some maternity pants even though they are too big for me. Discovered stretch pants from Motherhood Maternity that feel like heaven! I would seriously wear these pants every day, all day for the rest of the pregnancy if I could. I actually don’t want to wash them even though I still do because it means I can’t wear them. I don’t know what is in the material if these particular stretch pants but I have never worn pants so wonderful in my life.

Weight Gain thus far: 6 lbs
Condition of father: Quote: ” I have never been so happy in my life. “

# 56 The Jasmine Flower

Posted in About Me, More Theresa's Thoughts, Random by

Thank you God for making the Jasmine flower. Yes, I am ever thankful.  One may not think much of Jasmine just by looking at it. A native of China and other tropical climates, it’s not extravagant in its beauty but rather simple. Its small, white blossoms form in clusters in large bushes or vines. But it is its fragrance that has captured my heart and has imprinted so many memories of my life into my mind. She is a wonderful surprise that continues to surprise me, every time she shows up.

My love for it first started as a child when my mom grew honeysuckle and Jasmine flowers along the back fence of our back yard. On early, sunny mornings in the summer, my mother opened up the sliding glass door to let the light and fresh air in, and the left-over fragrance of Jasmine and Honeysuckle from the night blossoming burst in to the kitchen. I remember the first time I noticed it, I was sitting at the breakfast bar eating my Rice Chex cereal with banana slices and breathed in deeply after her fragrance said hello, a smile blossoming on my face and I looked up at my mom. “What’s that smell?” I asked. And so it began.

She surprises me every time, because she doesn’t stand out visually. And her fragrance doesn’t slowly build in its introduction. She may look passive, but she is confident in her fragrant entry. She truly bursts in. One second you don’t smell her. The next second you do. To this day I can be walking along a sidewalk to a friend’s house in their neighborhood or down a pathway on a school campus, thinking of those busy things that occupy so much of our time when we are on our way to wherever it is we are going. Yet the second I get a whiff of that fragrant flower and my mind registers what is happening, I instantly stop and begin sniffing and looking around me for the source. But as soon as I find her, I smile. Thankful and relieved, I pinch off a cluster of the flowers to carry and smell with me as I continue on my way.

The first time I bought flowers to fill my own yard as a young adult, I picked Jasmine. It took almost a year before the vines of the bushes grew long enough to cover the side of the fence that framed my driveway. But once it did, and summer nights came near a full moon when the blossoms opened and released their fragrance, I lingered on my way out of  my car before I came inside for my night of rest. The stresses of the day would melt away, and I was ready to make dinner and put the day behind me.

When I moved into a condo in Carlsbad in my mid twenties, my new roommate Amber introduced me to Jasmine tea. She was sort of a hippy and we bonded over conversations about healthy foods, talks of nature, and finding our life purpose. On one such conversation, she poured me a cup of hot, Jasmine tea and as soon as I raised the cup to my lips to take a sip, the steam from the tea rose up and filled my nostrils. A rush of euphoria filled me and our conversation continued with more smiles and laughter and reminiscent stories of our lives.

Years later after that season of my life had long since faded, my good friend Lael got married in the summer at a beautiful country club in San Marcos, CA. We girls were nervously chatting and giddy as we dressed in our bridesmaids dresses, applying makeup, and styling our hair. I left momentarily to find a restroom and take a break from the noise and opened up the back door of the dressing room. Instantly, my eyes were flooded with the mid-morning light and my nostrils with the unexpected and very welcomed scent of Jasmine flowers. There was no need to turn around and sniff out the source. There,  five inches from my face flowed a beautiful vine of Jasmine blossoms cascading down a white trellis. I stood there, my nose one-inch deep in the clusters of white, closed my eyes, and just stopped–stopped thinking, stopped looking, stopped moving. I just let the fragrance fill me and let the white light filter through the cracks of the trellis and in between the leaves of Jasmine and through my eyelids. Nothing mattered for the two minutes or so that froze during that time. I just quieted my soul. Then right after I uprooted from that  transcendental sliver of time, I prayed—-thank you God for these beautiful flowers you created. How do I explain all the feelings that come over me when I breathe in Jasmine? I did some research and found out that it’s not purely nostalgic for me. Jasmine flowers have been used in aromatherapy for years to rejuvenate the body, raise the moods of those suffering from depression, and relieve stress and anxiety.

So much of that makes sense to me. I have had moments in my life when I have been angry or hurt and yet, if I breathe in the scent of Jasmine, whether it be in that hot cup of tea, a bottle of lotion at a Hawaiian-themed surf shop, or in cluster of blossoms I tore from a Jasmine bush on a random sidewalk, I am able to pull out of those emotions, take a break, and move forward, realizing that there is so much more in life that is worthy of being enjoyed. Jasmine has become a self-fulfilling medicine for me. With each pleasing breath I take in of her, she reminds me of every other time she has surprised me in my life and has always brought happiness and peace with each occasion.

Some Wonderful Jasmine Products I Just Can’t Live Without! If you like Jasmine–you must try these!

Pregnant!

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Well the word is out as it is official. We are pregnant! As of today, I am 15 weeks pregnant. Agh! It was so difficult keeping it a secret the first 12 weeks, but after the miscarriage we had in the spring, we really wanted to avoid all of the awkward conversations if we suffered from another one. But when we went in for our 11-week-check up and the heartbeat was good and strong, the doctor told us that the chance of miscarriage from there after would be very rare, so we decided to make the announcement! We are ecstatic of course!

But until our little sunshine makes his/her first cry into this world, we must pass through the pregnancy stage. I’ve got 25 more weeks to go and so far, this pregnancy has been super different from my one with Kanan. Firstly, I am waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy more nauseous and tired this time around. Is it my age? Is it the baby? Could this mean I’m having  a girl? Who knows, but it is a fact. I’ve been blessed, however, after week 10 with a lovely little pill called Zofran which has helped me deal with my nausea enough so that I’m not completely useless. My role as a wife and a mother has already slipped because of the nausea. And prior to the magic little pill, poor Kanan and Owen were living off of fast food or mac and cheese because just the idea of me getting up and standing in that kitchen sent me to the bathroom hurling. And energy to do anything other than pass out on the couch? Gone! Praise God, people are much more understanding about me being a lazy lump on the couch when they know I’m pregnant. Still, I’d rather just not suffer from that at all. Zofran doesn’t make the symptoms go away, put it has helped me eat and begin doing some simple cooking again. It hasn’t helped the fatigue, however, so you can imagine how excited I am to finally be in the second trimester when the supposed energy returns! Second week into trimester two and still waiting……but, there is hope! 🙂 I’m really looking forward to getting back to the gym or running with my friend Courtney on Wednesday evenings. But it seems that with working all day, then coming home to being a mother and a wife, those Wednesday evenings have succeeded in only two things—-rest and some much-needed sanity time reading The Word. Now you may be wondering, what all of this laziness has done to my figure. Well, praise the Lord again, due to my nausea, I haven’t eaten nearly as much as I did the first 15 weeks with Kanan. I think by 15 weeks, I had already gained 6 or 7 pounds with him. But this time, I’ve only gained 2 pounds. And even with those two pounds of gain, I am exactly the same weight I was before I was pregnant with Kanan. So….in the end, I’m doing pretty well. Oddly, while I have not gained any significant weight, I look way more pregnant than I did at 15 weeks with my little boy. Right now I look as big as I did when I was 4 or 5 months pregnant with him, especially at night-time, after the food and the weight loosens my ligaments enough to make my belly swell more.

One exciting difference in this pregnancy is that I have five friends who are pregnant too and one family member! And even more exciting, two friends who are both 15 weeks along as well! My friend Kelly (who unfortunately moved to the East Coast) and I are now due date buddies over Facebook. And my friend Claire who lives in San Marcos! And then I have four friends who just had babies within the last couple of months. Yes, 2010 is the year for babies in our little part of the world. I can’t wait for all the play dates.

As for names, Owen and I are undecided as of yet. Well actually, I have two girl names I just love, but haven’t yet convinced Owen that either one should be the one, if we indeed have a girl. Owen has come up with one, which I refuse because I love our child and want to save her from ridicule! haha! As for boy names, I’ve come up with one, which didn’t go over very well with Daddy.And Owen hasn’t even thought of boy names because he is convinced it is a girl!

Okay, concluding Stats and dates before I close:

Weeks along: 15 

Estimated due date: May 20

Heartbeat/rate: 152 bpm (very good for those of you who are used to the adult 70 pbm)

Next appointment scheduled: Dec 13

Find out the sex: Dec 13

Food cravings: none

Food aversions: if I’m feeling nauseous, everything.

Other symptoms: stuffy nose and sneezing constantly! (the nose ring doesn’t help), breathlessness, intense insatiable thirst! Getting up to go to the bathroom one to two times in the night. And feeling more voluptuous in the décolletage area. 😉

Nausea: getting better but still not gone.

Fatigue: getting better but still not gone.

Size of belly: belly button starting to poke out and I’m using a rubber-band to help my jeans fit until I’m big enough for maternity pants.  

Condition of father: excited!

#247 Ahhhh Horchata

Posted in About Me, More Theresa's Thoughts by

Horchata.  It is one of those little things in life that make me want to say, “Thank you Lord.” Whoever the person was who decided one day in a small village in Mexico to combine one cup of  rinsed long grain rice, two quarts of water, one cinnamon stick, broken into pieces, and then let it sit for three hours before boiling it, blending it, sieving it, and then to come up with the brilliant idea of  flavoring it with one teaspoon vanilla,  and half a cup of white sugar and pouring it over ice—-this person shares a sliver of my own heart.

I do not go to Mexican cafes and order anything without pairing it with a Horchata. And every time I take that first sip of this divine beverage, I get a flash of memory of the very first time I took that first sip–and I smile.

I was shy, gangly six-year-old, living in Ocean Beach, California with my little brother Anthony and sister Barbie, our Mexican nanny named Xochil along with her two nieces Sandy and Nena, and my mom. One summer night, Xochil took us kids out for an evening walk. I remember the black sky and stars above, looking down at us as we walked along the city sidewalks warmed by street lights and the neon lights hanging in the liquor store windows, souvenir shops, and the little hole-the-wall-Mexican restaurant where Xochil said we could stop. I remember trying to look over the counter to see the men whose voices I heard as they cooked carne asada and quesadillas behind the glass wall, but it was too high–I only saw wood walls, stickers, and glass. The room was bright and Mariachi music danced through the speakers of an old, dusty boombox near the cash register.

Xochil talked in fast, friendly Spanish with the cashier then looked down at me  and said, “¿quieres un horchata? ”

“What’s a horchata?” I asked.

Sandy and Nena stopped playing with my brother Anthony’s light brown hair and just looked at me. Barbie continued to open and close the mouths of the bubble-gum dispensers by the opened, glass door.

“¿Nunca tenía horchata? Aye mija, necesitas que probar uno,” Xochil replied excitedly.

“Ok,” I responded, curious as to what it could be.

And then Sandy, her neice picked up a styrophome cup with a plastic lid and straw from the counter top and handed it to me with big eyes and a waiting countenance. I looked through the lid and saw a milky white drink and ice.

I took a drink—-the most perfectly sweet, creamy, cool drink I ever had. I don’t remember much after that. Just horchata and laughter as we walked back home. I have no memory as to whether my brother and sister had a drink–my brother was only one at the time, so I’m sure Sandy or Nena held him. My sister probably had her own or shared the horchata with me. Maybe we all shared as we were quite poor at the time. But there was no fighting. Only laugher and baby corn teeth, conversation filled with Spanish and English words, and Xochil, normally so serious, contentedly sipping hot sauce out of a ramekin like it was juice and listening to us children as she looked up at the moon and the lights ahead.

“Why are you drinking hot sauce Xochil?” I asked.

“Para kill de snakes en mi stomach,” she said with a wink.

Night. Lights. Warmth. Horchata. Laughing. White smiles and brown skin.

–Theresa

One of Theresa’s Favorite Bible Verses

Posted in About Me, More Theresa's Thoughts, The Hemsath Life by

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe every tear from our eyes. And there will be no more death, sadness, crying, or pain because all of the old ways will be gone.

Thank you Jesus! When I read this, I remember why you came. You came to give us the truth. You have saved those of us who put our trust and love in you, our Lord. And you will come back and restore this fallen world to the beautiful perfection it once was. And you will dwell with us, your children who love you.

This is what will get me through this miscarriage. And I pray that this give any other readers who are suffering,  a glimpse of your love and grow a thankful, believing heart.

–Theresa

The Pain of Miscarriage

Posted in The Hemsath Life by

No sooner did we announce the pregnancy that- like a cruel joke- we have to rescind.  And on April Fools day too.     We are so sorry guys, we are not having a baby after all.

When we first noticed the bleeding, we figured it was something normal, the body trying to menstruate or the cervix stretching out, but as it continued we started to get worried.  Both of us frantically searched the internet looking for good news.  We saw things we liked, things we didn’t like, and things that horrified us.  We prayed for God to save us from what we did not want to face.  We prayed for signs and for miracles.  One thing was for sure, we had to get out of Utah and get back home.

When we got to Nevada, Theresa came into the bedroom with a smile.  “Things are looking better!” she said, “Maybe it has stopped now and everything is fine.”  Our friends and family members made us feel better when they told us, “oh yea, this happens.  It’s normal” and so on and so on.  We put it out of our minds and continued our trip home.  Kanan was being so good, he even used the “big potty” a few times on his own (peppered with accidents here and there- sorry AM/PM), and we were feeling better.  Then, it started all over again.

I knew by the tears streaming down her face that something was different- maybe even worse.  Her head shaking confirmed that feeling.  We didn’t say anything to each other.  We just hugged and cried.  Even Kanan knew something was up.  He just sat in the back seat oblivious- and Kanan is never oblivious.  He always knows when Mama is crying.  We still had 4 hours to go before we got to California so we just kept driving, praying, and crying.

When we got into town, Mike picked up Kanan and we rushed to the Doctor.  She saw us right away and sent us to the hospital for more tests.  Once there, the tech informed us that although she knew the results she could not share them with us for legal reasons.  Theresa got an ultrasound and I kept my face down on my Ipod.  I wouldn’t know what I was looking at anyway and didn’t want to get all confused.  It would just hurt more.  Besides, I was feeling foolish anyway.  I mean, just 10 hours ago we were announcing to my family that we were pregnant and posting status updates on facebook.  We were 8 weeks in.  We had just seen the doctor 3 days ago and she didn’t mention anything like this.

We got a call a few hours later from the doctor, it went to voicemail.  When we called back we were transferred to an answering service that did not know how to contact the doctor.  In a panic and in my jammies, I ran out the door and drove to her office (a block away).  Locked out, I climbed over the wall, jumped onto the roof before sliding down the palm tree and into her office courtyard.  From there I began to knock on her office door and the windows.  No luck.  Lights were out.  That’s when my phone rang.  It was Theresa.  The doctor had called her back.

She told us that we would not know for sure but that no case like this had ever not resulted in a miscarriage.  There was no reason to think we were different.  I got home to find my wife writing in pain as her body terminated the pregnancy.  I watched her laugh at the Brian Regan DVD we were watching then grab her belly and scream.  She got Vicatin.  I got a bottle of wine.  We sat there together in awkward silence while the baby died inside of her.

Today was a harder day.  The test results came back as we expected.  It was a chromosomal disorder common to 98% of American miscarriages.  No abnormalities per se, just a bad deal.  There is no reason to expect we cannot conceive again and carry to term although that’s what the doctor said last time too.  We’ve received a rush a phone calls, texts, and emails from friends and family who want to know “what’s happening.”    You have all been great.  We are dreading the sob stories and elongated conversations as (praise God) we have not received any yet.  Just condolences and offers of support.  We appreciate it.  Anything more than “I’m so sorry and I love you” is too much.  We just need to deal with this.  After all, the baby is still inside her and there will come a time very soon when it will pass.  I dread that day.  I cannot even imagine what that will do to my wife.  In addition to all her pain, it is still not over.

There is no way of knowing the larger reason of why this happened.  Biologically we know that the body did not want a deformed pregnancy and so nature took its course.   Spiritually, we know we are dealt a blow and must either cling or withdraw.  We choose to cling.  God did not take our baby, no.  Adam took the fruit and thereby allowed sin and deformation, death, and decay to encroach on God’s perfect World.  We never held our child, we never saw him breath or cuddled him while he slept.  Perhaps this happened to teach us greater compassion.  For as we mourn the loss of our unborn child, my sister and thousands of other parents are watching their children live with terrible diseases.   And as we are hurting we know they are hurting and we all hurt together.  Perhaps all of us loving on each other and sharing the love that God has blessed us with will cure the pain of miscarriage.

Kanan is three!!

Posted in Kanan news, The Hemsath Life by

Kanan making a silly smile on the morning of his birthday.

Kanan turned three on March 11th of this month. He has grown into such an amazing little boy—so handsome, and smart, and funny. He loves trains, trucks, snowboarding, skateboarding, running, eating pasta and blueberries, and jumping on our bed in the nude. He is very out going and friendly with mostly everyone. He loves girls and he loves playing anything with Owen. He hugs me often and says the sweetest things like, “Mama, you’re soft.”  He adores singing and his current favorite song is “Be a Man” from Mulan. He also loves Ariel’s song, “Part of Your World,” and “Hacuna Matata” from Lion King.

He hates brushing his teeth and learning to do his duty in the big boy potty. He is such a blessing and my heart just swells thinking about him and praising God for him.

Thank you God for bringing Kanan to me. He is such a little light. I pray Lord that you keep your hand on him—love him, talk to him through your creation, and show him The Truth. In Jesus’ name, Amen.