Perspective: My First Month as a Full-Time Entrepreneurial Wife and Mom

IMG_3141

Enjoying Social Media Expert Wife benefits at the Bahia Resort while hubby spoke for Social Media Day SD.

Well it has been one month since I’ve been home from my teaching job and boy has it been mostly…….very hard. Ugh. I said it. Doesn’t mean I regret it. I just need to get through the transition. Quitting a salaried full-time position to be a full-time entrepreneurial wife and mom is a difficult transition. It’s not the same as quitting a job to be a full-time mom and wife (which is already a challenge in itself) because now I still have to work while doing the rest all at the same time. And my job is completely different than teaching high school English. It’s a completely different beast.

One of the current struggles I’m having is learning to give up my summer. I’m 37 years old and I have ALWAYS had summers off. I had summers off in grade school, high school, college, and then I became a teacher and I continued to have summer’s off. But now this summer, I’m not on vacation. I work from home. Although, to help me put things in perspective, I did get to enjoy an awesome time at the Bahia Resort last weekend with my kiddos while Owen spoke there for Social Media Day.

IMG_3079But on a typical week, I’m helping Owen with his business doing the tedious side work he shouldn’t be doing but has not been able to find an employee or virtual assistant to do it well or for any decent length of time. No one cares for the business the way we care for the business. I’m the best person for the job. And then I’m also writing scripts and recording videos for our Thriving, Sexy Marriage ministry.

I was really overwhelmed by all I’m learning the first 2 weeks but it’s getting a little easier the last two weeks. It has been “all Greek to me.” Learning Quickbooks, learning how to create “marketing tunnels” and use “auto-responder emails”, and refurbishing video into blogs, writing scripts, making gif memes, and recording myself without using a teleprompter like I’m used to….it’s a lot.

Screen Shot 2017-06-22 at 10.51.17 PM

our first podcast for thrivingsexymarriage was a hit and so much fun!

I cried a lot the first two weeks. More tears the first weeks then I’ve cried in months. There are many reasons. Everything is new. I was messing up on things. Everything takes longer. AND I’m not used to having my husband as my boss. (Whoa–that is hard for a woman who pretty much closes the doors to her classroom and teaches as she pleases). Because of the preoccupation with all that, I haven’t been speaking Owen’s love language, and when that happens, it doesn’t energize him to speak mine, which then doesn’t energize me to speak his, and…… you get the picture. We are marriage coaches, we know what is going on when we are not doing what we are supposed to be doing. Sometimes not always in the moment, but when fed up with it, we can look at it and figure it out. Haha. So– we figured it out and we are back on track. This week we have been two little love birds—-on the same page, speaking each other’s love languages, and unified. Yay for victory #1!

IMG_3061

Jameson and Kanan rekindling their love for legos.

Still working on victory #2–mastering working and taking care of kids on summer break all a the same time. So how do I do all that? I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure it out. I have about 30 hours worth of work I need to do each week to get everything done and so I’m doing 2-hour shifts here, then breaking for lunch and taking the kids out for an errand, and then doing another 2-hour shift there and trying to complete the third 2-hour shift at night after they go to bed, but not every night.

IMG_2925

Benny is so loving to his sister

The struggle is finding activities that keep the kids occupied for the 2-hour-shifts. The videos have taken the longest amount of time because I’m still learning how to set up the set and test equipment, then there’s practicing lines, and then recording. We’ve had two or three recording days where we worked for 3 hours straight and the kids just had to watch like two movies back to back. I felt terrible. So I really want to tighten that time and I know I can in time as this type of work becomes more second nature to me. I did enroll them in three different VBS’s in North County. So that will give me some time between 9-12 to work with fewer distractions and give them an opportunity to learn and have fun. We go to Utah for 10 days as well and then its just a week or two after before school starts. So the VBS programs will definitely help.

IMG_3093

me and my friend Carmen–yay for birthdays!

Still, I’m finding that my belief that I’d have time to visit my friends or have playdates or take 2 hour breaks for day trips with my kids is just not happening. Especially when we have scheduled karate and soccer practices taking up late afternoon time after I finish the work for the day. Oh and not more house keeper so I need to do that. With 4 kids home, the house gets messy fast, and every task for the business also takes longer due to distractions– someone is hungry for snacks, someone hit someone, someone is not wearing underpants (yes I have 1 free spirit–guess who?), someone fell and needs a bandaid…you know the drill.

IMG_3125

a third of my bunco group! Yay for friends and chocolate!

Still, weekends and some evenings I have had some great moments. We had a birthday party for Jameson a couple of weeks ago and I got to see friends and family then and also had some friends over for the 4th of July and had a great time. I also continue my monthly Bunco group on the last Sunday of the month. While my weekly bible study group is on summer vacation, I have started going to a bimonthly art group at my church that meets in the evenings…so again, it’s all about perspective. It’s not how I envisioned it, but I’m still getting some friend/adult time in other ways.

IMG_3142

Scotty and I in the cabanas at the resort for Social Media Day

This is why I keep reminding myself it’s about perspective…not like I expected but still good– So while I feel like I’m not getting the amount of time in with my kids that I had envisioned and even wondered if I actually got more time with them when I was a teacher, I did the calculations. Yes, I actually sat down with a calculator and figured out that as a stay-at home-working mom with the schedule I currently have, even while working through summer, I will still have 480 hours a year more time with my kids then if I worked away from home as a teacher. That is twenty, full 24-hour-days more or forty actual-day-time days more each year. So that is awesome and helps put things in perspective.

IMG_2941

Babysitting my nephews a few weeks ago was a blast . This is little Caleb with my daughter, Scotland and I

Owen also gave me some pointers (He’s good at that) ….to start looking at the tasky activities with the kids as those moments to create connections with them and connect. Driving the kids on an errand can be memorable. Breakfast and lunch can be memorable if I’m using it to teach one of them how to cook something, for example. Even washing dishes after dinner with the kids can be an opportunity for fun or laughter. So I just need to be present in those moments and not see them as just tasks.  So that helps me feel better. As I start moving through my duties more efficiently, it will naturally start creating more open spaces for activities with my kids mid-day. I’m going to try to take them on a trip to the library this Friday. We shall see. 🙂

IMG_2963

Scotty loves snails

So if you have any tips, working from home moms, I’d appreciate it. Would love encouragement, reality checks, you name it. I need it. I have felt pretty pouty and selfish the last couple of weeks but am getting better, knowing this is the right choice.

I just need to get my groove so that it flows. I need to get more organized and consistent. And I need to choose joy even in times of difficult transition.

I started thinking the last couple of days after I realized I was doing what my dad called “stinkin’ thinkin’ and I thought– everyone has something to complain about. Yes, I have lots to complain about over the last couple of weeks. Am I some sad victim that has it so much worse than everyone else? Sure there are women out there who don’t have to work and can enjoy playdates and coffee chats with friends and take their kids to Lego land once a week. But they also may have a husband who drinks too much or is into pornography, a mother they don’t talk to anymore, or they struggle with health problems…. there is ALWAYS something someone can complain about. So do I just sit in this negativity only seeing what I didn’t expect and how hard it is and develop a grumpy, woe-is-me spirit about me? Or do I choose joy? Do I choose to see the blessings even if it is not all I expected? Even if I didn’t get all that I had envisioned initially? We ALL have something to complain about. I don’t want to be that person. So I know its silly because I’m writing this blog, complaining, right? Yes…this is my revised version of a huge vent I initially wrote 2 weeks ago….but I’m hoping that in this revised state you see my recognition for the need of proper perspective.

IMG_3124

Playing “Maricela” at my friend, Laurel’s LulaRoe booth at the fair. 

As I was looking through my photos to post in this blog I was reminded of many happy moments during this difficult transition. Small moments playing with my kids, our hotel stay at the Bahia this last Thursday and Friday, an opportunity for me to help serve my friend Laurel at her booth at the fair, some Bunco fun with friends, Jameson’s birthday where I got to spend time with friends and family, and yesterday we had friends over for the 4th of July.  So I decided to add these photos throughout so you can see that despite my emotional struggles through this transition, I’m just a big whiny baby and am blessed beyond measure 🙂

It’s all about perspective. I never thought it would be easy. I didn’t think it would be this hard. But that is okay. There are many blessings and I will improve my groove and gain so much more. And everything will get easier. So there is my unpoetical, cadenceless conclusion. But its the plain truth.

Thanks for reading. 🙂 Here are some books I want to read to help me get better at this. Have you ready any of them?

IMG_3159

The bay at the Bahia Resort looks small on camera under the panoramic lens but is so much bigger in person! You can’t see all the little shells in the sand from your perspective, but little Benny was mesmerized by all the sea shells in the sand that he could see from his. See…perspective!

Free Stuff To Do With The Kids This Summer in North County San Diego and San Diego

Saturday/ Sunday

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Every Sunday from June 23th –August 18th. Heritage Park concert 4-6 (Oceanside)

Every Saturday and Sunday @ Mira Mesa Lanes, kids bowl free from 11AM-5PM (2 sessions. must register)

Every Saturday and Sunday @Kearney Mesa Bowl, kids bowl free from 9AM-6PM. (2 sessions. must register)

June 16th–La Jolla Cove 2-4pm concert

Saturday June 15 Walnut Grove Park in San Marcos. Festival of Rock and Blues

Saturday June 15—Tamarack Beach Fest

Saturday June 15—8pm-midnight Café 101 cars show.

Saturday June 29th—Oside 125th anniversary parade 10am-12pm, concert @ 5pm, movie (Bring it On)@5pm in ampatheater.

Saturday July 27th—Christamas in July 3-8pm Carlsbad State Beach

 

 

June 24-25

Grunion Run on any Oceanside beach (Fish all over the sand!).

Every Monday-Thurs @ Kearny Mesa Bowl 9am-4pm, kids bowl free. (must register)

Every Mon-Friday at Mira Mesa Lanes from 3pm-5pm, kids bowl free (2 sessions. must register)

 

 

Every Tuesday Free museums in Balboa Park in S.D. (Each week is different. See * below) 

July 2—10AM–Vista library: Dr. Seus readings.

July 9—10Am—vista library: see rare animals

July 16—10AM—Vista Library: magic and animal show

July 30—10AM—Vista Library: puppet show

July 30—11 AM—S.M library: infant massage class 

Aug 6th—10AM Vista Library: see animals

Aug 6th—11AM San Marcos Library: Intro baby ballet

Every Wednesday 1030AM—Mission Branch Library in Oside—story time for ages 0-2

Every Wednesday 4pm-8pm Downtown Vista Farmer’s Market

Every Wednesday 1-5pm Carlsbad Village Farmer’s Market

July 3rd—915PM @ Corazon Park: Fireworks

First Wednesday of the month for July and August—stargaze with Telescopes at Fleet Science Center in S.D at Dusk

July 10th—10AM Vista Library: child craft

July 17th—1030AM S.M Library: story time

July 17th—2pm S.M library: make paper airplanes.

July 24th—Vista Library @10AM: summer craft

July 31st—S.M Library: tumbling for toddlers. Must register before.

Aug 7th—S.M Library @ 930AM: toddler music skills

 

Every Thursday 9AM-1PM Farmers Market in downtown Oside.

Every Thursday 2-9pm Sunset Market in Downtown Oceanside

Every other week (June 13 and 27, July 11 and 25, Aug 8 and 22)

@2:30pm San Marcos Library—Read with a dog (for beginning or struggling readers. Builds confidence

 

.

1030Am—Mission Branch library in Oside—story time for ages 2-6. Every Friday-Sunday @Kearny Mesa Bowl 9am-5pm, kids bowl free.(2 sessions. must register)  

June 14-15 Walnut Grove Park in San Marcos. Festival of Rock and Blues.

June 28, July 5, July 12—Jazz concert at Stagecoach park in Carlsbad 6-8pm (swing, jazz)

July 19—Del Oro Park in Oside 5-9pm Concert and Family Fun

July 19 and 26, August 2 @ Poinsettia Park in Carlsbad: Jazz concerts. Various Jazz, R&B bands.

Aug 9, 16, and 23—Calvera hills Park in Carlsbad 6-8pm: Jazz concerts (afro pop, soul, big band swing)

June 14-15 Walnut Grove Park in San Marcos. Festival of Rock and Blues

June 15—Tamarack Beach Fest

June 15—8pm-midnight Café 101 cars show.

June 29th—Oside 125th anniversary parade 10am-12pm, concert @ 5pm, movie (Bring it On)@5pm in ampatheater.

July 27th—Christamas in July 3-8pm Carlsbad State Beach

 

*Here are the different Museums that are free. They take turns every week. First week of month–Ruben Planet Science Center, S.D Model R.R Museum, S.D Natural History Museum. Week 2–Museum of Photographic Arts., S.D History Center Week 3—S.D Art Institute, S.D Museum of Art, S.D Museum of Man, S.D Air/Space Museum, Japanese friendship garden. Week 4—S.D Automotive museum

Quite Time Info: Websites for your kids to do fun learning activities—builds reading, math, and other skills and perhaps might give you some sanity time when you need a quiet house:

www.Starfall.com

www.More.starfall.com

http://Inklesstales.com

www.Kneebouncers.com

http://Mightybook.com

http://Rif.org

http://Pbskids.org

www.Getreadytoread.org