1. Don’t believe the old wives’ tale that because you are super sick past your first trimester, that you are having a girl. Or the fact that you are carrying out. Or the fact that you tried the 99 percent accurate chinese number chart. I’ve heard it all. And I know at least one person who still had a child opposite of the gender they were supposed to have. Including that fool-proof ultrasound diagnosis.

2. Don’t assume that because you wear a size 8 in prematernity clothes that you will fit in size 8 maternity clothes throughout your pregnancy. If you are like most women, it won’t be just your belly that grows. Just wait until month 8, you’ll understand then.

3. Don’t even bother buying your spouse a pregnancy or baby book. No, not even the ones called A Father’s Guide to….or A Dad’s… or anything supposedly catered to a man and involving pregnancy or fatherhood. Only women buy those books for their men and most of them just get their feelings hurt when their men don’t read them. Face it ladies, they are men not women and that is why we love them. Just verbally give them the Cliff’s Notes version of what you are reading and save yourself the tissue-paper and money.

4. Don’t allow all  your”you are at risk for____________” post-blood test-result talks with your doctor take away your joy of having a baby. Half of these doctors are just covering their you know whats so they don’t get sued in the small, unlikely chance, your baby, labor, or delivery is not all you hoped it would be. If you are really care free, just skip all those precautionary fetal-disease blood tests and save yourself the stress. That baby will be a beautiful gift from God and exactly what he had planned for you.

5. Don’t believe that if you put enough lotion on that you can stop stretch marks from appearing on your belly (or anywhere else that grows 😉 ) . It may help the amount,  but if you have the genetics to get stretch marks, there is no miracle cream that will stop it.

6. Don’t be surprised if people are nicer and conversational with you during your pregnancy and you even make more friends. It’s amazing how much pregnancy talk provides an icebreaker amongst strangers or work acquaintances. And once the ice breaks, most of those conversations will continue after the baby comes.

7. Don’t make the mistake of hoping or relying on your baby shower to get everything you will need for the baby. Consider the baby shower to be a bonus. In the meantime begin saving money for purchases you will need for the baby. Buy a  few “must have now”‘s if you insist, then see what you get at the shower, and have fun afterward with the shopping.  

8. Don’t “buy” into the lie that you need to buy items for your baby brand-new. Baby products, clothes, toys, and decor are expensive and after it’s all said and done, you can find yourself thousands of dollars deep in plastic and cloth that are quickly soiled or grown out of and of which your child will not even remember or care about anyway. Consignment stores, hand-me-downs from friends and family, and online sources like Craigslist can provide with you with perfectly clean, well-taken care of baby items of all categories at a fraction of the price. Even if you want your decor to match in the nursery, a little sandpaper and paint can make it all fit together beautifully.

9. Don’t indulge yourself in the saying that you are “eating for two” or all the food that follows. All you actually need to provide the extra energy and nutrition for pregnancy is about 350 calories a day in the first two semesters. Ladies, that is the equivalent of pretty much an apple and a thick slice of cheese. The last semester, you can have an extra 100 calories on top of that. Don’t follow this advice, and find yourself like me with my last pregnancy—50 pounds of weight gain that took 9 months to wear off. Instead, eat lots of healthy mini-meals or snacks throughout the day and treat yourself at the end of the day with a petite sweet treat. Most women need to only gain 25-35 pounds.

10. Don’t neglect your husband’s needs and use your pregnancy as an excuse or justification. Between the selfish demands of pregnancy and the baby it produces, fathers can often feel neglected and marriages can have struggles. They are part of the pregnancy too. And they need their love languages met. Do this, and they may even shower you with all the love and help they can offer. And this pregnancy and baby can bring you even closer together. Tired? stressed?  Head aches? Heart burn? Hungry? Feeling just fat and unattractive? If we expect them to be selfless toward us, then we should do the same. And hopefully when we slip and don’t, they can show us some grace and we can try again.