Kanan is back from the doctors. He has a really bad ear infection. And the previous antibiotics for his cough just didn’t help it out. Hopefully the new stuff will make a difference. Poor baby! I’m so happy that we atleast know what the problem is. Now we can solve it. I like solvable problems. 🙂

 I deleted the previous post I made today. I decided that while it seemed like a good idea at the time, sharing such vulnerable thoughts about myself for all to see made me more sensitive to comments by my readers. Some were not what I was expecting or hoping for—in effect, I began to regret my decison to send out a blog update email. I suppose it was good to write out my worries and stresses, but its another to post them. Sometimes, things are better left unsaid.

 On a happier note, once Kanan got his new antibiotics and pain meds in him, he was like his old happy self again. And I broke my own rule tonight, but I just don’t care. I normally stress the importance that Kanan learn to put himself to sleep, but tonight I just couldn’t help myself. My chubby baby boy was in my arms tonight in a position that looked sooooo comfortable I wish I had a giant person to hold me in such a way. It felt so nice to just be rocking him and stroking his back. I didn’t want to put him down. So I rocked him to sleep and kept rocking and singing well past the time he went under. I could have been there all night if I were not hungry for dinner.

 Well, vacation is beginning…..finally some time to relax and yet also catch up on things that have been piling up. I’m going to church this Sunday for the first time in years….and guess what? I’m super excited about it. Can’t wait to find  a church in which I feel home.